My Full Moon
by SavannahLennon
Summary: New Moon from Jacobs POV. After Edward leaves, Bella needs a shoulder to cry on, something to distract her from her pain, Jake's the friend she needs. But will Jacob be be able to contain his growing love from Bella? Rated M for language, violence and possible partial lemons. I do not own Twilight or any of it's lovely characters, I'm just having fun with them ;) *bows to SM*
1. Band-aid

_**This is my take on New Moon, from Jacob's pov. I'm going to try and stay as close to the book/movie as possible, but I may vere off in a different direction here and there, enjoy and as always, please review! :3**_

_**Chapter 1. Bandaid**_

"I can't just show up and make everything better Charlie, you know I wish it possible." I sighed, this was the 5th time he had called me in the last two days. he was falling apart. As much as I wanted to drive over to his house, scoop Bella up into my arms and make all her pain and suffering dissapear, I knew that was going never happen. Things were bad, and nothing Charlie had done has made anything any better.

"Try. Do anything I can't do this anymore Jake. I mentioned sending her Jackonville and she threw a fit like a 5 year old. I will admit, it was nice to see her react, to have emotion again." his voice was heavy with concern and sadness, I achned for Charlie, my own father could barely stand to be in his presence, it was so depressing.

"Sure sure, I'll do my best." I murmured as the line went dead. It was the same answer I'd given him over and over, I knew, he knew deep down that this wasn't something that was going to just go away.

The next morning the sound of an engine coming to a stop outside my window was enough to jolt me up from my bed, a vistitor at this hour? I was about to scold the mystery guest when a voice soft as a whisper came from outside.

"This is stupid." I knew that voice. It had been months since I had heard it, but I knew that voice. I pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed the first shirt my hands touched, hmm hope it wasn't dirty. When I open the door, there stood Bella, her hand at my face, about to knock.

"Well hey there stranger!"

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't call, this was just an out of the blue kinda thing." she shrugged, looking away from me. Her face was so sullen, so heartbreakingly sad. This cloud of dispair hung all around her, I could almost feel it touching me.

"Nah don't worry about it, I was actually gonna stop by later today." she looking back to meet my stare and a slight smile touched her lips, but it was forced, I wasn't that dense.

"I, uh, brought something for you." she smiled shyly motioning towards her truck. The bed was covered by a tarp, hmm, intriuging. I grabbed my boots and shoved them on my feet follwing her outside. She lifted the gray cover back exposing two dirt bikes, covered in gunk and rust.

"Scrap metal, and it's not even my birthday, you shouldn't have!"

"I know they'll probably cost more to fix, then what they're actually worth but I thought it would be fun." her voice was so unsure, unsteady. Was she expecting me to say no?

"They're not in that bad of shape. A little rust, easily taken care of, and we can always go to the junk yard, for some of the parts anyways. The rest, well, yeah, they won't be cheap." I laughed, touching my hand to throttle. I looked up, surprised to see her smiling. A real smile. Of course behind the smile I could see the pain, but it was nice to know I was helping her numb it a bit. As she went around to open the bed of the truck I really looked at her for the first time. She was so tiny! Bella had always been a slender girl, but now her clothes hung on her in odd places, her cheek bones were more pronouced, and her frail looking shoulder were hunched over. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her everything was going to be ok in the end, but my better judgment was to just give her space. Distract her from her pain and make her happy.

"I don't mind paying for the parts, I mean, I know crap all about mechanics, so you'd be doing most of the work, so I think it's only fair I cough up the green for whatever parts we need. And I wouldn't have even thought about asking you, but you mentioned that you were fixing a car and I don't really have anything other friends to as-"

"Bella, Bella, take a chill pill, it's all good, I'd be more than happy to help. Besides, after we fix'em we get to paint them, gear up and ride them!" I chuckled, her face was so red, she was flustered. Did she think I was going to send her away? I wanted her here. Her smile made her whole face light up, it was a beautiful site. I felt a twinge in my stomach, it was a flutterly feeling, I ignored it, I was probably just hungry as usual.

"Well, lets start then." she said waving her arms toward my shed. I laughed and started to unload the bikes. The red one was missing a tire, and the gas tank was dented but nothing too horrible. The black one, the one I wanted for myself if Bella would let me, was much worse. The throttle was hanging on by a thread, the frame was rusted and had a few dings, and it was for sure need a new seat and handle bars. But we could find more of the parts at the scrap yard.

I hadn't noticed the time, apparently neither did Bella. She sprang up from the hood of my fixer upper, gawking at her watch.

"Oh god it's almost 9, I didn't even tell Charlie where I was, he's probably about ready to send the entire town out looking for me." she rushed out, fumbling with her keys. I grabbed them before they could hit the ground and placed them in her hands. A strange look ran across as her face. First bewilderment, sadness and then came the pain. She shook her head and squeezed her arms around her torso. What an odd thing to do. Did I do something wrong?

"I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure the first person he called would be my dad, and he knows your here.." I assured her, she gave me a small smirk, but the pain still lingered on her soft features.

"It is okay if I come back tomorrow, I mean after I'm off work?" she sighed, defeat in her voice. She was so confusing, she always asked a question, looking as if she already knew the answer would be no. What would make her think I would hurt her that way?

"Of course, you're more than welcome here, anytime you want Bells."

"Well that's good to know. You'll get sick of me soon enough." she laughed, worry thick in tone. I sighed, she was so thick headed, I could never get tired of her company.

"Have a good night Bella, and I'll see you tomorrow, you know where to find me." I grinned as she opened the truck. I was about to walk back to the shed to lock up when her arms wound around me, it send a jolt of eletricity through me, making me stumble back. She buried her face into my chest, constricing her frail little arms around my waist. I hugged her back, shocked. I rested my chin on her head, feeling that weird flutter in my stomach again.

"Good night Jake, thanks for everything." the smile still on her lips as she hopped into the truck and pulled away. The stange flutter was still there as I watched her drive away from me. I could still feel her warmth against my chest, her lovely scent in my nose. I stood there staring at the fading tailgate lights like an idiot. What was happening to me?


	2. Nightmare? No, maybe not

**I'm going to try and update at least a few times a week! My life's hectic between work and school, but I find solace in my writing. As always, read and review, maybe favorite and follow? But here's chapter 2, sorry if it's short. I've written this through a migraine! :)**

I instantly knew I was dreaming, but I didn't let it bother me. I was in my garage working on my Rabbit, my hands covered in grease, my clothes covered in oil and god knows what. Nothing out the norm, what a strange and seriously random dream.

"What do you want on your pizza?" Bella suddenly shouted out to me, I turned around to see her sitting on the floor, her legs crossed, flipping through a pizza menu.

"Anything meat related, maybe some onions, hope you don't mind the breath." I laughed, tossing my wrench to the floor. She laughed with me as she got to her feet, bounding towards me.

"Always such the carnivore, eh babe?" she smiled, wrapping her hands around my neck. What? What was going on, this just proved to be a dream. But her hands felt right around my neck, like they belonged there, though her creamy ivory skin wasn't nearly as hot as mine, I could feel her warmth all over me, flowing through my veins. I knelt my head down, touching my lips to hers, the heat intensifying as we connected. My hands grasped her hips pulling her closer to me, a low moan escaping her mouth as our bodies touched, her fingers now pulling at my hair. It felt so good, the mix of pain and pleasure, she felt so good, so right in my arms.

"_I love you Jake_.." she murmured against my lips, holding me tighter, touching her hands to the buckle on my belt.

My eyes shot open, my breaths coming in shallow pants. A fine mist of sweat was sprinkled on my brow. My heart felt like it was going to leap right now out my chest, and that stupid flutter was in my stomach again. What was wrong with me? Maybe I wouldn't sneak cans of my dads beer before bed anymore.

After I showed I wandered into the kitchen, Dad had already left to go fishing with Harry and Charlie, it was weird not hearing the wheels of his chair creaking up the hallway at the moment he heard me up. I decided to make something quick, throwing some strawberry poptarts into the toaster, I was still quite freaked out about my dream. Bella and I dating? No, we were friends, had been since childhood, and like she could ever get over Cullen, I knew how head over heels in love she was with him, never heard the end of it from Charlie, and of course my dad, begging me to get her to end things with him. I mean really, paying your son 20$ to ask your friend to dump her boyfriend, really dad, new low. But in all honestly, I did care for Bella, I loved her like family, but could I_ love_, love her? No, she would never think of me that way. I was just her goofy, clumsy, grease monkey of a friend. One she decided to spend time with to distract her from her misery. She could never fall in love with me. I laughed to myself as I ate, staring blankly at the tv, not really paying attention to what was on. For once in my life, I was so lost in my thoughts.

"Yo Jake, wanna come down to the store with us?" Embry murmured as he let himself in, followed by Quil. It didn't bother anyone in the Rez to keep our doors unlocked, everyone knew everyone. Hardly any crime around here.

"Naw, got plans." I replied, blindly changing the channel, hmm, food network, bad choice. I could feel my stomach growl in response at the site of delicious cut of red meat.

"It's that girl that was here yesterday eh? Isabella right, Chief Swan's daughter?" Quil laughed, nudging Embry's side, wiggling his thick eyebrows side to side.

"Bella, and yeah, she's coming over to study with me, I'm so far behind." I lied, not moving my eyes from the tv. No need to tell them about the bikes, they'd rat to Billy, who would eventually rat to Charlie, and in which case, would loose his mind and cut the whole thing short.

"Right... well we're heading out, see ya later I guess." they chuckled, shutting the door behind them. Meh, let them think what they wanted, I still wouldn't let them in on our secret.

When I heard her truck come to stop out front I found myself excited. My heartbeat quickened in my chest, I could hear my pulse in my ears, even my skin felt hotter. Maybe I was coming down with something._ You're falling in love with her, stop being so dense_, I heard in the back of my mind. I shook my head, as if to shake the thoughts from myself completely. I wasn't going to let those feeling show themself, because Bella would never return them. Better to save myself now then to regret it later.

I met her outside, opening the truck door for her, offering my hand as she stepped out. That strange look of pain and confusion crossing her face, as it had last night. I ignored it, though I was heavily confused myself, I wasn't going to ask.

"My _lady_." I bowed, hoping to get a smile. To my surprise, it worked, her cheeks lite up, as she grinned, pulling up one side of her mouth.

"Oh knock it off." she laughed, pushing me lightly, playfully as she always had, she seemed to be in a better mood then the last time she was over. That was good, hopefully my presence would numb her a little more. We started on the bikes right away. Bella was right, she didn't know jack shit about anything mechanical, but her company was more than enough to make me happy, time flew by. She passed me tools when I needed them and helped clear the gunk and cob webs out of the nooks and crannys.

"Screwdriver please, phillips head." I murmured, holding my hand out, hoping she at least knew what I meant. When nothing happened I racked my brain, trying to remember if I said it out loud, or if I had been talking to myself.

"Bells?" I asked, looking behind me. She was staring at the radio a sour look of agony on her face. Her eyes were brimming with tears as she held her torso, her arms over lapping each looked like she wasn't breathing. I ran over to her, hesitantly touching my hands to her face. Her cheeks were so warm and red, when her eyes finally met mine she blinked, sending tears streaming down thickly, catching on my fingers.

"I'm sorry, I just.." she sighed shaking her head, as she stopped talking all together. I dropped my hands, staring at her, waiting for an explanation. I understood she was depressed, and very sensitive, but this literally came out of nowhere. One moment we were making fun of people we knew to ease some of the tension, and the next she was breaking down behind me. It killed me to see her like it. It angered me to know he had done this to her. Turned her into an empty shell of who she used to be.

"Bells what's wrong, you know you can tell me anything." I whispered, touching a finger to her rosy cheek. She slowly brought her melancholy eyes up to mine and sighed loudly, taking in a slow deep breath, sorta how you would before a shot at the doctor, as if she were preparing herself for the pain. Shrinking into herself.

"That song, it just, well, caught me off guard. I don't listen to music much anymore, I wasn't expecting any to come on at this time, on this station, it's usually the news hour..." she paused taking another hesitated breath. Much slower this time. "It.. it reminds me of _him_..of us.. I'm sorry it's stupid." she finished, planting her face in her knees, I watched as her hands constricted around herself, almost as if she was pulling herself back together. I instantly felt absolutely horrid. Me and my big mouth. I couldn't have left well enough alone, or at least made a stupid joke.

"Don't apologize Bella, it's really alright. Nobody's perfect, well except me, it's alright to be jealous." I chuckled, hoping she would take the bait. A snide comment would usually work in a situation like this. To my relief she laughed slighty, wiping her hands under her swollen eyes, her smile brought a warmth to my chest, making it swell with happiness, to know I had caused that smile. Her smile also caused a small flutter in my stomach, I was getting used to the feeling, it was happening a lot more often.

"Well, no need to brag, that's just rude." we both laughed, and the moment was nice enough to keep silent as our laughter faded. We continued to scrub down the bikes chassy, talking here and there. I didn't want to force her into conversation, I was here to help her feel better, not weight her down with my own problems or my usual constant need to fill silence with pointless talk. When she excused herself to the washroom, I ripped the radio from the wall, tossing it into my trunk locking it, no more music. No more radio. I was not watching her hurt like that again, not if I could help it.

"Are you hungry Jake? I haven't eaten yet and if I don't, Charlie isn't going to let me out tomorrow." she sighed, looking annoyed. She defiantly needed to eat more often then she did and a lot more too. She had lost the subtle curves she had, had the last time I saw her, before well, before her **world** ended, as Charlie put it. And she looked _ill_. Her skin was always very fair, but now it was sickly white, chalky almost, unless she was flushed. Then she looked half alive and healthy.

"That's a silly question Bells, I'm always hungry." I laughed patting my hand on my stomach. It was flat, but as my dad always told me. "_Your metabolism won't last forever Jake_." Screw it, I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. She smiled slighty, pulling her phone from her pocket.

"Is pizza ok? I'll eat whatever you get, so long as there's no anchovies. I don't do salted, briny fish." her tone was settled, it was funny to see her trying to be serious. I heard her question a few time in my head before it registered I had been through this before. What happened next.. _Her arms would wrap around me, our lips would meet, starting a chain reaction in both our bodies, as her soft lips whispered she loved me_.

"Jake?" she pressed, her eyebrows pressed into a V of confusion and worry over her wide eyes.

"Umm yeah pizza is fine, I guess pepperoni, bacon and ground beef." I answered, darting my eyes back to my hands. I couldn't look at her. Not with these thoughts in my head, not with my sudden urge to turn to her, grabbing her in my arms and planting my lips firmly to hers.

"Sure thing, be right back. I'm sure Billy has a pamphlet for Pizza Hut somewhere." she said, pulling herself up from ground, heading out towards the house. When she left I dropped my cleaning rag, touching my hand to chest. My heart was pounding fierce and hard and my face and neck felt hotter than usual. There was need in the hollow of my stomach. A need to touch her, to wrap her in my arms, pressing her thin body to mine so I could whisper in her ear how much I was falling in love with her. I sighed, my hands going to temple. This was bad, really really bad.

I was in _love_ with Bella.


	3. Playlistso far

Closer To The Heart - Rush

Werewolf - Cocorosie

Anything Could Happen - Ellie Goulding

I Know You Care - Ellie Goulding

That's The Way - Led Zeppelin

Nobody Hears - Suicial Tendacies

Closer To You - The Wallflowers

Keep The Streets Empty For Me - Fever Ray

The Feel Good Drag - Anberlin

Good Riddance - Green Day

Half Moon - Iron & Wine

I See A Darkness - Johnny Cash

I Want You (Shes So Heavy) - The Beatles

My Body Is A Cage - The Arcade Fire

(S)aint - Marilyn Manson

Something About You - Boston

The Wolf - Fever Ray

Breathe - Pink Floyd

Round and Round - Ratt

Seven Devils - Florence + The Machine

The Window - Starlight Theatre

If You Want Blood - ACDC


	4. All Work And No Play

**Another night of terrible insomnia, means another update! I hope everyone had a fan-bloody-tastic Saint Patricks day, and if you didn't celebrate, hope you had a swell weekend! As always leave me a review, follow or favorite!**

**Chapter songs****, After The Goldrush - Neil Young, Where We Belong - Thriving Ivory, Ain't No Easy Way - Black Rebel Motorcyle Club, Into The Mystic - The Wallflowers, You're Heart Is An Empty Room - Death Cab For Cutie, Radioactive - Imagine Dragons**

"All ordered, 45 minute wait, so I grabbed us some chips, Billy insisted." When my eyes met hers I was searching for answers. Why was I feeling this way? Why now? The persistent ache in my stomach was throbbing, meeting the beats of my heart as I watched her hips sway back and forth, how lovely the shade of blue she was wearing made her porcelain skin glow, how full and pink her lips were and how badly I wanted to taste them.

"Jake?" she murmured, her expression concerned as she placed the bag of tortilla chips on the work bench, stepping towards me.

"Sorry Bells, just got a bit of a headache, didn't mean to space out you.." I laughed, it wasn't a lie, my head felt it was going to explode with all this new information that it was trying to process, I felt like I was going to over heat.

"Oh, well I can go, I didn't know or I would hav-." I raised my hands cutting her off, of course she would see it as her fault, she always did.

"Naw don't worry, it's from lack of food." I mumbled, shoving a handful of chips into my mouth, for her benefit. I honestly had no will to eat at this moment. My stomach was too full of butterflies. Her face relaxed as she dipped her hand into the bag.

When the pizza came, we washed up and took a seat on the porch, it was a clear night, not too cold, but Billy brought out a quilt for us. I tossed it Bella, I didn't wanna to be that close to her right now, I didn't know how I would react.

"Mmm this is really good Jake, good choise for toppings." she around a bite. I laughed and nodded as I stuffed my own face, but I had to admit it was nice to see her eating. She needed some meat on her bones.

"Is it okay if I come over again tomorrow? I only have a half day, and Billy said you guys don't even have school tomorrow." she said as she looked down at her slice, only half eaten, and I had already had about half the damn thing to myself.

"Bells what did I tell you, so long as I'm here, you're welcome. Hell if you wanna hang with Billy I'm sure he wouldn't mind the company." I couldn't believe she kept asking after the countless times I said I always wanted her here. Maybe she was just use to being left out. Left behind more like it. I fisted my hands, anger bubbling again as I thought about _him_ and what he had done.

"Yeah but I don't want to keep you from your school work, and well, other friends. I feel like I'm stealing you away." she sighed, finally putting her half eaten slice on her napkin, wrapping her hands around her knees, the quilt slipped off as she leaned her head forward.

"Ahh don't be silly Bells, I get enough of Quil and Embry at school, sides I prefer hanging out with you and I really don't mind if you wanna 'steal' me." I said softly, pulling the blanket up around her frail little shoulders, she looked up at me, her warm brown eyes staring into mine. I could feel that familiar pull between us again, I wanted so badly to lean in and touch my fingers to her cheeks, taste her lips with mine. The fluttering in my stomach was so intense it hurt. I needed to touch her.

"You're too nice to me, I don't deserve it." Her face hung low again, breaking eye contact with me, breaking the pull between us. I shook my head, trying to remove myself from the heavy daze she had put me in with just her intense stare.

"Are you crazy Bella? You deserve the very best, more then what I can give. But so long as you want to hang around me, I'll do my best to make you happy and make sure you stay that way, you deserve no less then perfect Bells." I finally got the guts to touch her, placing my hand on hers, her fingers were cold, and balled into tiny little fists. She jerked her arm back at first, but she relaxed it, letting me entwine it with my own. I instantly felt her warming up at my touch. She sighed heavily, her eyes looking up at the sky.

"Thank you, you know I'll do the same, for as long as you'll let me, as long as you want me. You're all I've got Jake." Her words were no less then a whisper but I heard them clear as day. Her voice was so broken, so sad it made my heart sting for her. I wanted to take all the pain, the bad memories, the tears, the depression, right out of her, and make things right. Make her euphoric. As she made me, with her mere presence.

"I'm never going to send you away Bells, never." I smiled, tilting her face up to mine. Her eyes were starting to drip wetness at the corners, but she pulled her mouth up into a smile as she leaned forward. I was hoping for a kiss, but her arms encircled me, pulling me closer. This was enough. This is where I wanted to be. In her warm arms, her lovely scent swirling up my nose, her face buried in the crook of my neck. I wondered if she could feel how fast my pulse was racing.

"I better get going, but I'll be here as soon as I can tomorrow. Do you think we can paint and ride them tomorrow?" She still had one arm loosely around my waist, I rested my chin on her head, trying to ignore how her fresh aroma whirled in my nose, making me dizzy. It was a sweet scent, a fruity smell, it made my mouth water.

"Sure sure, anytime you want, I'll be here. And I think so, I'll give them the once over before bed tonight, we can spray paint them, it dries faster." I put my arm over her shoulder experimentally, trying to gauge how far I could take it before she pulled away. To my surprise she leaned closer to me, snuggling into my side, sending a jolt of electricity threw my veins.

"I'm so comfy and warm. I could sleep right here." she sighed, letting out a long breath as she pulled her knees up, leaning them against my thighs. I felt a twinge in my jeans as she touched me, a reaction I knew would happen eventually, but now was definitely not the time.

"I'd say stay the night, but sadly you have school tomorrow. I'm pretty dang comfy too." I pulled myself closer to her, just wanting to feel her warmth, she squeezed me tighter and sighed again, this one was almost annoyed. I knew it. I pushed too far. Here comes the rejection.

"Maybe tomorrow, I mean, it's friday, and I got nothing except homework as a date all weekend. I mean it's up to you I just thought it would be fun, we could like tent out in the yard like we used to as kids, remember that?" she laughed. Her laughter brought a swell to my chest, it was like music, so carefree, so lighthearted, I loved it._ I loved her_.

"Yeah and my dad and Charlie would always try to come out and scare us, and we'd pretend to be scared just for there sake." I laughed too, remembering. We both let out a slow breath, as she got to her feet, wrapping her hands around herself.

"You're so warm Jake, now I'm gonna freeze without you." she said as she headed toward the truck. I followed close behind. I wanted to grasp her into my arms and keep her there. She hopped into the drivers seat and cranked the heat. I could see the pink on her cheeks becoming more visible. Thankfully.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bella, sleep well." I murmured, touching my hand to her face. Not caring if she pushed me away, I just wanted to feel her skin beneath my fingers again. She gazed back at me, a hardy look of indecision and timidness in her eyes. She blinked and leaned into my palm, touching her petal soft lips to me for a moment before smiling.

"Goodnight, thank you, for everything."

As she pulled away I stood there for a moment before heading back to the garage. I taped off all the important parts and set out the paint we would use tomorrow. I needed to keep my head busy. _Test the wheels, test the breaks, test the throttle, did I put gas in the tanks? _I racked my brain trying not to think of her. And of course failed miserably

The next morning I was up bright and early, early enough that my dad stared at me strangely as I poured myself a cup of coffee.

"Bad night Jake?" he asked as he filled his bowl with corn flakes. His eyebrows pulled down heavily over his eyes. He could read me like a book and I hated it.

"Yeah. Just had a nightmare and couldn't fall back asleep." I sighed, plunking down at the table. It wasn't a nightmare but an absolute fantasy. I didn't know how many more of these lucid dreams of Bella I could take. They would leave me breathless, my heart beating unevenly and much too quick, light-headed, and quite hard between my legs. I was 16, the wet dreams stopped a long time ago.

"I'm sure it'll pass son, you know when you mom died, I acquired terrible insomnia, I went days without sleep, it was a terrible time." I blanked out on my cereal as my dad spoke. I didn't have it in me to listen. I had to figure out how I was going to get through the day with Bella without making her uncomfortable. I mean what was I going to say? '_Oh hey Bells, just thought you should know I'm in love with you, and I've been dreaming about jumping your bones' _I groaned in my head, as I ate bite after bite, for once not caring about what I was eating, barely even tasting it.

"Just try not to worry so much Jake, things will fall into place." my dad finished, dumping his bowl into the sink. I nodded my head and smiled for his benefit as he rolled out of the kitchen, thankfully leaving me alone. I slammed my head into my hands, why me? Why couldn't I just be the friend she needed? What was so difficult and awful about that?

When her truck pulled it, it pulled me from my dull trance that I had been in all morning. Almost afraid to see her. But once I felt her presence it all disappeared leaving nothing but bliss. She met me at the garage, a hug smile on her face. I let my eyes wander over her body, she was clad in a pair of blue jeans and a baggy red and black flannel shirt. She looked adorable. I instinctively wrapped her up in my arms, holding her tightly, I didn't want to let her go.

"I kinda need to breathe Jake.." she laughed as I set her down, for once I felt a flush touch my cheeks. Maybe I was over a little over zealous.

"Lets get this show on the road, I've set out the paints and covered everything but the frame and tank, so it's all ready to go." I grinned motioning her forward. She smiled the biggest smile I had seen so far, and it knocked me back a bit. How incredibly beautiful she was. I followed behind her, ignoring all other thoughts coursing through my muddled head.

**Hope this was alright! I'm a little muddled myself, and I did this in a daze! Please take a moment to review it would mean the world to me!**


	5. Danger Magnet

**Well here I am with another chapter. I'm terribly sick with the flu, so all's I've been doing is sitting in bed and writing. I'm hoping my suffering make you guys happy :)**

**Chapter Songs: Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine, The Trapeze Swinger - Iron & Wine, Roslyn - Bon Iver & St. Vincent, The Fool On The Hill - The Beatles**

"Why does yours look nicer than mine? My paints all drippy looking." Bella laughed as she stared at the frame of her bike. It honestly didn't look that bad, but of course she had to be hard on herself. As usual.

"You're just holding the can too close, and a step back and spray evenly, back and forth or up and down." I answered, showing her as I did it to mine. Was it overly cheesy that I wanted to stand behind here, like they did in movies on golf dates and show her exactly how it was done? Yeah, that's what I thought. Of course it was cheesy, she'd probably pull away and laugh at me.

"Like this?" she asked swaying her body with the movements of her hand. I was momentarily distracted by her, I got ahold of myself quickly, before that familiar tightness came to my jeans.

"Yeah you've got it now." I laughed with her, ignoring the not so innocent thoughts that danced around my head, taunting me. '_You want her. Kiss her. You know you want to taste those lips' _I shook my head roughly gripping my hand tighter around the spray can. I needed help.

As we waited for the paint dry we had lunch. Bella had brought sandwiches and yogurt cups.

"How did you know I loved this much crap on my sandwiches Bells?" I asked as I took another gigantic bite. It was layered with about five different types of meats and cheeses, with stacks of lettuce and tomato, I was drooling it was good. The yogurt cup I could live without but I'd eat it to be polite. No need for her to think I was _that _much of a pig.

"Well your dad does, I've seen the snacks Charlie's packed for fishing trips, so I figured you'd be the same" she smiled as she took a dainty bite of hers. Which was about three times thinner than mine and stuffed with more tomato and cheese than anything else.

We ate in silence and I had to admit, it was awkward, well it was for me anyway. Bella was flipping through a tattered book as she slowly ate her lunch, barely sipping at her soda. I on the other hand finished long before her, and I sat there cracking my knuckles, and rolling my thumbs. I had so much I wanted to say to her, but I couldn't find it in me to. It was too soon.

"Umm I brought some stuff, if it's still ok that we do the camp out. If you've got other plans that's fine too." she mumbled, meeting my eyes. Oh god. Having Bella in a small tent with me. Sleeping? Was she trying to tempt my control? Did she want to be alone with me in that way too?

"Sure sure, it'll be fun. I hope you brought your homework, I got some catching up to do myself." I leaned my head against my hand, homework was the last thing I wanted to be doing in Bella's presence, but it was true, Billy was getting on my case about falling behind.

"Of course, I got a stack I need done, plus I need to study for English. Nothing too terrible, just Whitman."

I nodded as I chugged the remains of my soda, loving the burn in my throat. It took away from the burn I had in my stomach as I looked into her soft eyes.

"It's a date then." She grinned as she got to feet. My heart beat increased at the words. How I would love to take her on date. Spoil her, dust her cheeks with that lovely crimson flush..

After we had cleaned up, we started to peel away the tape from the bike frames. The paint had dried and we were ready to pack up and leave. I loaded the bikes in the the bed of her truck as she filled a couple bottle with water. It was sunny today, not too warm, but water was a must. The drive was short, and we didn't speak much, the silence was more comfortable now that I had gotten a hold of head, of my thoughts. It wasn't until we had gotten on to the main road that I realized the radio was on.

"Since when do you like heavy metal?" I questioned, recognizing the song right away. I would have never guessed Bella to be a, _Enter Sandman _ kind of girl.

"Since now. Well since we started hanging out, you keep me calm, you keep my mind busy." Her words were soft but they tugged at my heart. It made me euphoric to know I had that effect on her.

Bella suddenly slammed on her breaks, pulling over to the side of the road. I jerked forward catching myself on the dash. She jumped from the truck, running over to cliffs edge.

"No stop! Someone help!" She yelled, staring out over the water. It took me a moment to find what she was seeing, and when I did I dragged myself from my seat and walked over to her, she was still yelling out, pointless really. No one would hear her over the roar of the waves. I saw Sam easily enough. Creepy guy. Always watching me, talking to Billy, but never me. He was just stare, with the strangest look in his eye. He was with Jared and Paul, two other I had gone to school with in the past.

"They're cliff diving Bella, calm down. It's for fun. We don't exactly have much to do around here." I laughed touching her arm. She turned to face me, the worry slowly leaving her eyes.

"Cliff diving? That boy was thrown off."

I followed her eyes to see a head bobbing up and down in the waters, about a hundred feet down from where the others guys stood. There he was, Embry. He missed school and hadn't talked to me. When I called all his mom would say was that he was sick and couldn't come to phone. Yet now he was swimming in freezing water? Hmph

"They're just showing off Bells, most of us jump from lower 's gang likes to prove themselves to everyone." I answered, a cruel tone to my voice.

"Gang?" Bella asked, her eyebrows forming a soft V above her eyes.

"Just a group of guys. Except for Sam. He's always looking at me, like he's waiting for something. Like he's expecting something from me, I just don't wanna be next." I looked away from her, out towards the men on the cliff. Trying to ignore the sting in my eyes. I wasn't going to cry.

"Well, you should tell your dad, or maybe even Charlie, if hes bothering you we should do something." she said in a hurry, I shook my head, there was no point. The gang were all welcomed by the father for some absurd reason.

"It's nothin' Bells, don't worry your pretty little head, let's get back to the truck before the weather changes on us, don't wanna be ridin in the rain. I didn't bring that kinda gear." I forcefully smiled, grabbing her arm, pulling her towards the other side of the road. She smiled too, nodding her head in agreement. I wasn't going to bring this up again, I could see it upset her, almost as much as it upset me.

When we got the side road I was gonna teach Bella on, I insisted that she sit back as I unloaded the bikes. She went back to her book as she sat on the hood. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander in her direction once every few minutes. I loved how her lips quivered as she mouths the lines in her novel to herself, and she look so cute in her oversized flannel and tight jeans. Much to tight.. The way it clung to her thighs made my mouth water. I pushed the thought aside as I rolled her bike to her. When she sat down, she looked so nervous, I was almost afraid to let her try.

"Now just remember. Break, gas, clutch." I murmured as I ran her through the easy steps. She nodded her eyes focused. "Now show me. Turn on the bike, and rev the engine a bit." She nodded again and took in a breath. Her hands settled beneath mine, I watched closely as her eyes turned dazed, almost as if she were seeing something that wasn't really there. I looked around me to be sure, nothing. She suddenly lurched forward, slamming on the break before she could hit me.

"Sorry. My hand slipped. Let me try again." she mumbled. Her breathing was rapid, her cheeks flushed. She was probably just embarrassed, what other explanation was there?

She revved the engine again this time without fault. I stepped out of the way as she peeled off in front of me. I watched as she sped down the gravel road, gaining speed by every passing second. This was bad. Really bad. I should have told her to keep it below 50. I heard her scream before the crash happened, I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched her tumble to the ground, the bike skidding behind her as her body slammed into a rock. My stomach lurched and I thought I was going to pass out from fear. I jumped on my bike and raced down the road to close the distance between us. When I got to her she was dazed, her eyes darting around in all directions. There was a cut on her forehead, blood was pouring out, running down her cheek.

"I wanna go around." she mumbled, trying to stand up.

"I don't think so. No more bikes." She touched her hand to her head, wincing as her fingers touched the open gash.

"Oh I'm sorry." She said as she saw the redness on her hands, she moved away from me. What an absurd thing to do? It's not like she crashed on purpose, or cracked her head open by choice.

"You're apologizing for bleeding?" I asked shaking my head. I took off my shirt, pressing it to the cut. It would have to do until we got back to my place.

"Yeah. I guess I am." she sighed looking down and the ground.

"It's just blood Bella." I smiled as I held the shirt to her wound. It was clotting around, that was good, at least the cut wasn't too deep, she wouldn't need stitches, just a good cleaning and a few pills for the pain. I'm sure she'd have a headache at any moment. As I sopped up the red liquid from her skin, I could feel her eyes on me, nearly burning a hole into me.

"What are you staring at?" I asked, her cheeks dusting with pink instantly.

"Did you know you're sort of beautiful?" she nearly whispered taking her lower lip between her, her eyes boring into me. I wanted so badly to lean in a kiss those lips, to tell her just how beautiful she was to me, how perfect, flawless, amazing and utterly lovely she was. I leaned forward and bit and changed my mind at the last second.

"How hard did you hit your head?" I joked. It was the best thing to do. She was probably so out of it, she didn't know what she was saying. But I let those kind, gentle, loving words of hers, stay at the front of my mind, I wasn't going to forget them. She smiled and looked away from me, wincing as I pressed the shirt a little firmer to her forehead.

"Let's get you back to my place, I need to clean that cut." she nodded as I pulled her up into my arms, she leaned into my bare chest. The feeling of her warm breath passing over my skin made me shiver, and I was never cold. The warmth I was feeling now could only be compared to being set a flame. It covered my entire body, I'd never felt so alive. I was in love with her, it wasn't going to go away, or fade. It was getting stronger.

**I tried to stay close to the book with this chapter, but of course I made some changes. Like I said I'm going to veer off in my own directions for certain parts, or make up my own. Hope it was enjoyed! I will try and have the next chapter up tomorrow. Ready for some slight lemons? I hope so! As always, review, follow and favorite?! :)**


	6. Camp Out

**Well here we are again. I'm feeling worse than I did yesterday but my brains still pumping out ideas! I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I promise my head is full of ideas as to where to take Jake and Bella! Enjoy!**

**Chapter songs: Tuesday's Gone - Lynard Skynard, It's Time - Imagine Dragons, Papercut - Linkin Park, December - Collective Soul, Into The Ocean - Blue October**

As I drove us back to my place, Bella was still clung to my side, she was shaking. I wrapped my free around around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

"You're so comfy Jake." she sighed, snuggling into me. I smiled and rubbed my hand up and down here arm. Having her this close to me, without the thin fabric of the shirt in the way was driving me crazy. How I so wanted for her to stripped from hers as well.. To feel the silky warmth of her all over me.

When we got to my house, I quickly swabbed the cut, wincing as she squeaked at the pain of the alcohol cleaning the gash. I soothed her, letting her squeeze my free hand as I made sure there was no gunk in the cut. I smoothed a bandage across her head and kissed my lips to it. She laughed and pulled herself up, using me as leverage.

"I feel like a 5 year old, you kissed my boo boo better." she smiled, her hand still wrapped around my arm. It felt like she was burning right through my skin. I grinned back at her and sat her down at the kitchen table as I searched for something to make for her. She needed to eat, and if she was going to be hanging out with me like this, she'd be eating a lot more, and a hell of a lot more often.

"Hot dogs okay? And I've got steaks but they're frozen. And I think we have salmon and trout in the freezer out back." I murmured as I roamed through the fridge. There were hardly any vegetables in there. I felt bad, I knew that what Bella would reach for.

"Hot dogs are just fine, I'm starved." She said as she patted her flat stomach. I could imagine how hungry her body was. Some of the fullness was starting to come back to her cheeks, for that I was thankful for. She was eating because of me.

I put a pot of water on to boil as I tried to find something for her to eat while we waited. I groaned as I look through the cupboards. Why was I such a pig?

"Well uh, I've got chips, cookies, granola bars or pop tarts?" I laughed, pulling each item, placing it on the table in front of her, she laughed with me and grabbed the bag of chips.

"I love dill pickle." she grinned, popping a few into her mouth. I was relieved she chose something I would have felt horrible if she sat there, her stomach growling.

When the hot dogs had cooked we filled out plates and went to sit in the living room. I flipped on the tv, not really paying attention to it. I had food. It felt so good in my sour stomach. It had been in knots all day. I was devouring a hot dog in two bites, I couldn't seem to get them into me fast enough. Bella on the other hand, had her eyes fixated on the tv as she nibbled on hers, I had finished all four of mine before she had even really made a dent on her one. I sighed to myself, ' _way to make an impression Jake_.'

After dinner and after watching a few movies on tv I went out into the garage to look for our tent as Bella grabbed her things from the truck. As I searched through the stacks of boxes and bags I suddenly got a lump in my throat. Was this really a good idea? Camping out in a tent, alone? Would I be able to control myself? Keep my thoughts from going in the wrong direction?

"Need any help?" Bella murmured as she came up behind me, touching her fingers to my shoulders. I jumped forward, catching myself on pile of Rubbermaid containers. Her had sent a shock through my system, jabbing right at my heart. I placed my hand to my chest and turned around laughing.

"Sorry Bells, ya caught me off guard." I managed to get in between my deep breaths, she stared at me concern all over her face but she relaxed once my breathing went back to normal. I finally found the tent, as I went to the yard to set it up Bella went to the house to grab blankets and pillows. When I pulled the tent from it's case, the smell of campfire filled my nose, bringing a smile to my face. The last time I used this was with Embry and Quil, of course we barely used the tent, we were too busy stuffing out faces with marshmellows and hot dogs, but it was a good memory.

"Billy couldn't find the sleeping bags, he said one of your sisters must have them." Bella said as she came to stand beside me. I nodded my head remembering, I was pretty sure Sarah had taken them the last time she had visited.

"Ahh that's not problem, we got lots of blank-" I cut myself off as I looked at Bella. She had changed while she was inside. Now she was wearing a white tank top and sweats. The way the thin fabric clung to her skin was mind numbing. I couldn't look away. The white gave a sudden glow to her skin, it looked so creamy, so delicious, I wanted to touch my lips to it, taste it.

"Blankets?" She laughed, raising her hands. They were full of quilts and throws, along with a couple of pillows on top.

"Yeah sorry, my mind kinda blacked out on me there.."

She shrugged her shoulders, not bothered in the slightest. She was so confusing. What I wouldn't give to know what was going on in that head of hers. It took me about ten minutes to set up the tent, it was missing a few pieces so I had to improvise.

"It's so small!" When Bella went inside, she had to squat, her head still touched the roof of the tent. I laughed to myself, this was going to be fun.

"We can 'camp out' in the living room if you'd prefer?" I suggested, she shook her head side to side quickly plopping down onto her mountain of blankets.

"No this is nice. I've missed the stars.." she sighed, her eyes grazing the stars as she rocked herself back and forth, her arms clasped around her knees.

"Yeah, it's_ twilight_, such a beautiful time of the night, especially when it's this clear." Her sharp in take of air startled me, it sounded like she was choking, I reached for her but she waved me away, her other around squeezing her side. Pain clear as day on her face.

"No, I'm fine, it's nothing." Her voice broke several times in the small sentence. I left it at that, I wasn't going to push her any further, if she wanted to talk to me about it, she would.

I set up a lantern for us, Bella wanted to read before bed. I brought my homework in with me. Maybe that would help distract me from her. From the way she was leaning on her pillow it was pushing her chest together, the mounds of ivory were pulling me in. Begging to be in the palms of my hand. Her long, chestnut colored hair was poured over her delicate shoulder and the way her was gnawing on her bottom lip was making me want to groan, it didn't help that her sweet scent - I'd finally pinned down, what it was strawberries so fresh and delicious - was making me dizzy, making my tongue dance behind my lips, it was searching for hers, craving it. What I wouldn't give to rip that thin tank top of her, and run my fingers over her bare breast, maybe wrap my lips around her nipples. I could imagine her moaning in my head as I sucked on the pink peaks. I felt myself harden at the thought was laying her down, letting my tongue discover her hidden depths.

"Goodnight Jake." Bella's voice suddenly rang in my ears, I looked up to see her bundled up in the the quilts her book down at her feet, her eyes closing. I grabbed my blanket and pulled it over my waist, I was really hoping she didn't see the tent I was pitching.

"Night Bells, sleep well." I murmured, clicking off the lantern, falling back into my make shift bed. Rolling over onto my side, I couldn't take my eyes off her limp form. How her chest moved up and down slowly with each breath, her hair fanned out around her head, like a chocolate colored halo. I don't know how long I laid there staring at her beauty, but eventually sleep claimed me.

**Well this was sub-par I'd say. My heads killing me but I pushed through it to at least give you guys something! As always review, favorite and follow! xo**


	7. Third Wheel, Yeah Right

**Alright everyone. I know this one's a little late but I've been so stressed with work, and being sick as a dog (no pun intended Jake haha) so I've sort of rushed this one. I'm taking a lot from the movie/book and just adding my own twist, so how I wish it would have happened. Once again I do not own this beautiful creations, I'm just having fun! Enjoy :)**

**Chapter Songs: Bleeders - The Wallflowers, Little Darlin' - The Diamonds, Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park, You're A Wolf - Sea Wolf, My Never - Blue October ( This is SUCH a Jake song ugh lol)**** Sleeping Sickness - City and Colour**

It had felt like I just fallen asleep when the sound of vibration woke me, I sat up too fast, making my head spin. My dream faded from my memory fast, sadly, I knew it was a very good dream. Bella flipped open her cell phone and groaned, throwing herself back down onto her mountain of pillows. Curling in on herself for a moment before stretching out again.

"Ugh, I have to work." she moaned, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands. She looked so disappointed.

"Hey, it's money Bells, don't worry I'll still be here if you wanna come back." I assured her, touching her arm, she smiled and slowly crawled out of the tent, I pulled my shirt on and followed. The sun was shining bright outside, it was so warm on my skin, it felt so fucking nice.

"Yeah, I probably will, Charlie's working the night shift tonight and I don't want to be in the house alone, I just end up..." she stopped, shaking her head quickly as she pulled her sneakers on. No socks? That had to be uncomfortable. But the thought of her alone in the house did make me worry. My guess is she would think about him, and end up crying on her bedroom floor as she held herself together tightly with her tiny little arms. It tugged at my heart to imagine her hurting like that, I thought I was helping with the pain, or at least numbing it for her. And that made me happy.

"No problem Bells. I'm probably just going to run some errands, we could have dinner if you'd like. I think Harry was gonna bring over some fish fry if you're interested?" A smile was already on her face at the invitation. At least this was I knew she wouldn't be in as much pain ( I know I couldn't take it all away) and I knew she'd be eating.

"That sounds great Jake, I don't know what I'd do without you." she grinned, wrapping her arms around me. I held her there, inhaling her beautiful scent, letting her warmth spread across my body. There that would get my through most of the day, I thought to myself as I let her go, reluctantly. She grabbed her things from the tent, tossing them into her truck. She pulled her coat on over her pjs and jumped into the drivers seat. After mumbling to herself about what she needed to do before she headed over to the sporting goods store, she peeled out, well as fast as the truck would let her go, out of the driveway.

After I took down the tent, tossing it into the the garage, I went into the kitchen to find food. Billy was there, reading the paper.

"Fun night I guess son?" He questioned, raising his brow. Of course my dad would just to conclusions, though I wished he was right.

"Yeah, just like old times. We did miss you and Charlie coming out at 4am making bear noises though." Thankfully my dad laughed, and let it go. I was trying no to think about Bella in that manner at the moment, but it was inevitable. Her scent clung to my clothes and it was all in the inside of my nose. The luscious, mouth-watering strawberry aroma. I could just eat her up..

After breakfast I had a long, hot shower. My whole body was tense, and I wasn't sure what it was from. Either the stress of this whole "gang" going around, or the fact that every waking moment that I was with Bella I was holding myself back from jumping on her and telling her how very much I was in love with her. The hot water helped a bit, loosening the muscles in my shoulders and back, it cleared my head a bit as well. Once dressed, I headed out to the garage. Time to take my baby for a test drive. I had finished the main work at the end of summer, Of course I was missing a few odds and ends but nothing that would affect the operation of the vehicle. When I got inside I started it up and all sounded good, even the shit ass radio I got from Quil's moms old beater. There was only a cassette player, and good old AM/FM but it was better than nothing. I put it in gear and pulled it, and was surprised at how well the handling was. I was extremely pleased with my craftsmanship. I would have to thank Quil, and Embry eventually if I ever saw him again, for their help.

When I got back to my place I parked in front of the house, as I got up to the porch I could hear a number of voices coming from the living room.

"There's been no signs. Nothing, I don't know what to tell you Sam." I heard my Dad say, he sounded frustrated, like he'd been repeating the same thing over and over again.

"It's going to happen Billy, we can all feel it. I just want you and Jacob to be ready for this." An unknown voice, who I pegged as Sam said. What the fuck did he mean. 'be ready?' Ready for what? I was about to barge in and demand to know what the fuck was going on when Quil darted out in front of me.

"Dude I wouldn't." he warned, holding his hands against my shoulders. I looked down at him, confused to shit.

"What's all that crap about?" I asked, he started shaking his head.

"I honestly don't know. I went to Embry's yesterday to try and get him to talk to me. Sam and the rest of his gang were there, and they were all yelling at each other, until Embry's mom came out, and told them to back off. And I got told to 'get lost before something bad happened' by Sam. It was pretty heated. Paul was shaking and sweating. Weirdest thing." he finished, a crease coming between his bushy brows. I didn't understand a word he had said. Paul shaking? We all knew from being in school with each-other that Paul was an angry guy, so that was normal I guess? But why were they all fighting, especially at Embry's.

"I thought Em was sick? I've been calling him non-stop since he's been out of school." I questioned and Quil just continued to shake his head.

"I really don't know Jake, I wanted answers too, and I basically got told to fuck off."

The door slammed open, as four men left my house. Sam, Jared, Paul and Embry. My mouth fell open. His hair was cropped short, it looked like he took scissors to it himself, he wore nothing but a pair of cut off jeans, and on his arm, he was branded with the same tattoo that everyone in Sam's gang had. They looked like a fucking indian cult! They started into a light job, all in sync with each other as they headed for the tree line.

"Em! What the fuck man!" I called out after him. He stopped just before the trees and turned toward me. His face was hard and angry, and full of some other empotion I couldn't pin point. Hate maybe? Our eyes met for a moment and he was gone.

"I told you dude. Messed up shit." Quil sighed, as he collapsed on the steps of the porch, sinking his head in hands. "Don't you ever get the feeling that.. that you're gonna be next?"

I looked up at him and his eyes were getting a little wet. He looked terrified.

"Yeah. I do. All the time. Everytime that dick Sam looks at me. I get this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach." I fisted my hands at my side. Like hell I'd let this crap happen to me and Quil. I heard the house phone ringing so I turned and ran for it.

"Hello?" I answered a little breathless. Not from the short distance of running but from anger, it was all I felt.

"Hey Jake." Just her voice cleansed the anger from my system, calm started to seep through my veins.

"Hey Bells, how was work?" I asked casually, reining in my excitement, I didn't want to seem too over zealous and freak her out.

"Meh, it was work, pretty dead, but, uh I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie tonight. A friend of mine invited me and well, I'd rather you came too." she finished her tone a bit annoyed, it obviously was because of this unnamed friend, which sort of made me happy. She invited me to make it more fun.

"Oh that sounds coolio Bells. the rabbit's all done, I can pick you up if you'd like?"

"Sure, I'm ready whenever you are, Uh Mikes mom is dropping him off at the theater cause she needs her van to do errands or something. So if you're driving you'll have to drop him off at home if that's ok?" she rushed out, annoyance coming though in her tone again and I couldn't help but laugh, she was so cute when she was annoyed.

"No problem Bells, I'll see ya in a few."

After I hung up I ran to my room to fix myself up. The clothes I was wearing were covered in grease from tuning up the Rabbit. I tossed on a pair of dark jeans and long sleeved black shirt, it was warm enough that I wouldn't need a jacket later if it got colder. I ran a comb through my hair and tied half of it up, I wanted to look half way decent for Bella. I grabbed my keys and ran out to my car. Ahh my car it was so nice to be able to say those words. It made me proud.

When I got to Bella's she was sitting out front, a smile on her face as I pulled up.

"Nice Jake, sounds good too." she grinned as she got into the front seat. I smiled too, it was nice to know, that she knew at least a bit about cars, another trait I could add to the never-ending list I had of things I loved about her.

"Yeah' she's a badass." I laughed rubbing my hand against the dash. Bella rolled her eyes, chucking with me.

The parking lot in the theater was pretty empty, which was always a good thing. Crowded movie theaters drove me crazy. Nobody would ever just shut up and watch the movie, and don't even get me started on the dumbasses who text. Ugh.

"Hey Bella!" I heard a voice shout, in obvious excitement. I followed the voice to find a sort of stocky blonde boy. He was dressed in a gray button down shirt and pleated white pants, wow, dork.

"Hi Mike, this is Jacob." she said motioning her arms back and forth.

"Oh your _friend_ from the rez?" he asked raising a brow, emphasizing the word friend. Which pissed me off royally. What the fuck was it to him if we were more or not. Fuck this guy. Anger bubbled in me, it caught me off guard, why was I acting like this? Shitty morning I guess.

"_**Best**_ friend." she smiled, touching her hand to mind for a moment. I felt the anger leave me again at her touch. Sending jolts of warmth through my body. The look on this Mike's face as we touched brought a smile to my face. Jealousy was a funny thing to watch.

"So what are we seeing? Zombie horror, Slashers, Action, Comedy?" I asked, pointing to all the posters on the walls.

"Theres romantic comedy as well?" Mike mumbled, pointing to the poster of two people basically eating each others tongues. I knew well enough then to bring up romance. It would only upset her. Sure enough she flinched for a moment, her eyes dazed as if remembering some faded memory. I gritted my teeth as I tried no to reem this dickweed out.

"Nah, I don't do romance." Mikes face lowered, as she paused to let her eyes scan the movie board. "I'm thinking some zombie will go me good tonight. I could go for some flesh-eating." she laughed, the bit of pain she had flinched from leaving her eyes.

"Are you even old enough to watch that?" Mike asked me, in a tone that made my body heat up. I ignored it again, fisted my hands behind me.

"I'm giving Bella the money for my ticket." I said curtly in a tone that shut him right up. We continued into the theater, it was pretty much empty, thankfully. When the movie started after the never-ending previews, I placed my hand on the arm rest, palms up. I was inviting Bella to place her hand in mine, I didn't want to force it. Through the movie - which was pretty gruesome. Lots of blood and guts always fun - she sat with her arms across her chest, it was obvious I wasn't going to get what I wanted. Just as a zombie got it's stomach sliced open, sending pools of blood and half eaten flesh all over the ground Mike stirred beside Bella, making a gagging sound.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" he said as he ran for the exit. We both stared at each other until she got up, of course she would check up on him, she was that nice.

When we got to the bathrooms she nodded me forward, she couldn't go in after him so I guess that would my job. Before I even rounded the corner I could hear him gagging, then the landing of his stomach contents in the toilet.

"Dude?" I asked my face twisted in disgust.

"Just leave me alone. I'm fine." he answered between gags, I laughed and headed out to Bella.

"What a marshmallow!" I said to her, pausing to let out a chuckle. "You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit." I finished, holding my stomach.

"I'll be on the look out for someone like that." she laughed, as we sat down, waiting for the pussy to come out the bathroom. I found the courage to grab her hand, holding it tightly in mine. She squeezed for moment, and then as if she realized what she was doing she jerk her hand away, leaving my hand hanging. _Ouch._

"What I can't hold you hand?" I asked, trying not to show the hurt I was feeling.

"Yeah. You can. I just think it means something different to you." she sighed, looking down at her feet. I felt the sting in my eyes but I ignored it. I already knew this would be her answer I just didn't fully prepair myself mentally for it.

"But you like me right?" I murmured, turning my head to look her in the eye. There were dark bags forming under them. She wasn't sleeping well again.

"Of course I do, you're my best friend Jake."

"As long as you like me the best. And you think I'm good-looking — sort of. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent. I'm not going to give it." Her eyes darted away from me for a moment, before coming back.

"I don't want you to, but it's only because I don't want you go anywhere and that's selfish of me. I'm not like a car you can fix Jake, I'm never going to run right. So I should be fair to you." sadness was so thick in her tone, it made my throat tight with sadness and anger.

"Bella. I know what he did to you. _And I would never, ever, hurt you. I promise_." I said as I touched her hand with mine again. This time she didn't pull away. She leaned into me, putting her head on my should.

"I know, and I'll hold you to that promise." There was nothing else to say for the moment. We had laid it out, for now. Just then Mike came stumbling out of the bathroom. His face was sweaty and almost as white as Bella's.

"I, uh, need to go home. I think I caught the flu that been going around. I was feeling a little off before but I didn't want to cancel on Bella." he mumbled, holding his hands to his stomach. If he was feeling sick before why in the shit was he here. Was he trying to get us all ill? I sighed heavily and walked to the food counter, asking the lady there for a popcorn bucket. I tossed it at him when we got to the door.

"I don't want a drop of that puke in my car got it?" I stressed as I unlocked the doors. He nodded maybe he was afraid to speak. Once I got his address I took off. I drive was quiet, except for Mikes occasional moans and groans. Bella and I talked here and there until we dropped the party pooper off. I was glad to be rid of him. He was getting on my goddamn nerves.

"What was with you tonight Jake. I mean before the movie. You seemed so angry?" Bella asked when we pulled up to her place. When she brought it up I felt the vile feelings again. My skin was on fire, sweat pooling on my hair line, the nape of my neck, my back. My breathing increased, my hands almost crushing the steering wheel. Bella was right, what was wrong with me. She touched her hand to mine, pulling back quickly, then touching her hand to my forehead.

"Jesus Jake you're burning up are you ok?" she asked, her cool fingers frantically touching me. For once her touch wasn't enough to bring me down from the anger, the fury. The heat of my skin increased and I squeezed tighter, straining the muscles in my hands.

"I need to go. I don't feel so well." I said through a clenched mouth, hoping she wouldn't take it as her fault. That was the last thing I needed.

"Yeah go home Jake, just please call me when you're there so I know you're ok." she murmured, hugging my still form. I didn't move from my stiff stance. I was afraid if I did I would snap. I felt like my whole body was tensed rubber band, and any movement would break me from the inside out. I nodded my head and took in a steady breath.

"I will, goodnight."

She pulled herself out of the car, it had just started to rain. She stood there and stared at me. Her frantic brown eyes full of worry and sadness. For a moment I felt my heart lurch at the pain I had surely just caused her, before the rage took over again. I slammed my foot on the gas and peeled rubber out of her driveway. I raced home, feeling nothing but fury in my blood. I tried to disconnect myself from my mind and it only brought me irritation. This wasn't me. I wasn't the angry kind. I was always a happy guy, I always found the silver lining, even in the worst of times. But this. This wrath, this severe hate was not me. And why was I so hot? I was sweating through my shirt, it was dripping off me. When I pulled up to my house, I stood out in the rain, hoping it would cool me off. It helped a bit, washing away the luke warm sweat from my face. I inhaled the air and cleared my head for a moment or two. I walked in side and Billy was there, he wheeled toward me.

"Jake how many times have I told you to lock the garage when you leave, the damned animals get in there. I don't want them nesting again!" He shouted, slamming his hand on his chair. My breathing increased and I pushed it aside, just fisting my hands at my side, squeezing until it hurt.

"Sorry." I mumbled, after I downed a cup of water, hoping to cool myself from the inside out. Sadly it didn't work.

"Are you okay Jacob, you look a little off?" he asked.

If felt rage pool around me, I saw red and I began to shake, violently. The heat spread across my skin, I could feel my heart beating frantically against my chest. It felt like it was going to pound it's way through my rib cage My sight flickered from red to back to normal, the shaking only increased. One last final wave of anger and everything went blank, as I felt my body let go.

**Ahh I know it's a cliffhanger! But I just had to! I've got alot to do for the next chapter, in with trying to keep up with the actual story and making up my own little bits. I took direct quotes from the book in this chapter ( which I don't own, I borrowed ) but I hope you all enjoyed. I should have the next one up in a few days, this weekend I'm going away, so I'll try and have it up tomorrow, along with the next chapter on my other story! As always review, favorite and follow! xoxo**


	8. Animal

**Well, here we are again my lovelies. I was up all night sick, so that means another chapter. I have to say again that I'm making up my own ideas, as well as using direct parts from the book and movie. So if things don't exactly match up I'm sorry, it's just how it works in my head. I'd also like to know if you'd like to have Bella and Jake kiss in this? They almost do in both book/movie, but I want your opinions! Anyways, enjoy :)**

**Chapter Songs: Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace, Blurry - Puddle Of Mudd, Rebellion(Lies) - The Arcade Fire, Breath Of Life - Florence + The Machine, Within Me - Lacuna Coil**

I felt my skin expand almost as if I had exploded. My clothes were shredded to bit around me. My head was filled with voices, all screaming at me, I could smell fear, sweat, tears, everything. I looked around me, everything a mess. The kitchen table and chairs had been thrown across the room, our small fridge knocked over. I looked down at myself. I was furry, very large and russet colored. A wolf. Really?! These were legends! This had to be some sick dream. I opened my mouth to speak, a deep growl came out, rumbling in my vast chest. Movement caught my eye. My dad had rolled back in his chair, hes eyes wide and scared.

_Relax Jacob everything is going to be ok. I need you relax. Take a deep breath and let your body fall_. I recognized Sam's voice and instantly became angry. My body, my wolf body, became shaking. Another growl ripped out of my chest. He was the last person I wanted to talk to.

_Jake, please we can help just relax_. Embry mumbled in my mind. This voice didn't anger me. It brought me sadness and despair. It felt like forever since I heard him. I listened, letting my limbs go limb as I collapsed my large body on the floor. My fur was so long it made a make shift shag rub around me.

_That's it. Just feel your body, your new body and pull in on the reins. Take control_. Sam said, and this time I listened. Feeling each of my limbs go loose. My skin started to feel tight and much too hot, my vision clouded and I was me again. Laying naked on the kitchen floor. My body covered in a fine mist of sweat. The voices disappeared and I was alone in my head again.

"Son are you alright?" my dad asked, his voice shaken. I looked up and he was coming closer to me. I shook my head, pulling myself up to stand. It was strange to be on two feet, and was it just me or was I taller now? My head almost touched the ceiling in our small house. My muscles and body felt different too. I was defiantly running a bit hotter then normal people but it didn't feel wrong. I was perfectly cool. The muscles in my arms and legs were a bit sore, like they had been stretched but I felt stronger. Just flex my hands I could feel how much more power was in them.

The phone ringing scared the living shit out of me, I wrapped a towel around my waist and answered it.

"Hello." I mumbled, worrying for a moment that another growl would leave my lips.

"Oh Jake you are home, you had me so worried!" Bella rushed, relief thick in her tone. I closed my eyes and pressed my hands to temple.

"Yeah, I am. Sorry."

"That's ok I hope you feel better."

"Thanks, I'll talk to you later." I said clicking the phone into the wall. I could barely think my head was spinning, even though the voices had stopped. Had I really just exploded into a giant wolf? Or was I just going crazy? Maybe a bit of both. There was a knock at the door, I opened it reluctantly. Sam was there, along with the rest of his gang. For once the look on his face was apologetic, not the hard like it usually was.

"We have a lot to discuss, please come with us." he said simply

I felt my body shaking. I guess I was next, I needed to warn Quil.

"Just breathe Jacob. I promise everything will be alright."

I nodded my head, excusing myself for a moment to pull on some shorts. Afterwards I followed them out into the woods where Sam continued to explain everything. About how we were guardians of the tribe, here to protect our land from the one thing were made for. I felt a chill run down my spine. _The Cold Ones_. And here I thought it was all just legend. Little did I know we all existed now because of the Cullens. Couple of leeches move into town and the fever sets it. We all came of age and started to change.

"Why me, why now? I wasn't even upset by anything, I was, happy!" I grunted, collapsing on the forest floor. Sam had said it was normally brought on by persistent anger. And I had only been angry last night, and it was more annoyance then anything at first.

"I suppose it's different for everyone, but Jake, you have to know that we can't allow you to be friends with Bella. She is, well, was part of the Cullens life, and shes far too fragile to be around us. It's better for you and for her safety if you drop connections with her." he spat out, his eyes going soft near the end. He had been in my thoughts, seen, felt, heard everything. He knew I was in love with Bella, and how it would kill me to leave her, but it would destroy me if I ever hurt her psychically. I brought my hand up to forehead, dragging it down my face, wanting to rip the skin right off.

"I can't do that Sam. I just can't. She _needs _me." I sighed, feeling my eyes begin to sting. I had made a promise to her. And it was true, she did me as much as I needed her.

"You have no choice Jake, and you are not to tell her about us, that's an order." he said curtly as he spun around to head towards the group. I sat there feeling his words through my entire body. As the leader, his word was the law. We couldn't disobey. I gritted my teeth, ignoring the shaking of my body. Only after one day, I was getting the hang of controlling it.

"You might wanna chop your hair Jake. It's really annoying to pick leaves and twigs out, and you get caught on shit." Embry said as he came up to me. I looked into his eyes as I saw myself. The hard edge, the anger, the tattoo that marked us both. This was me now.

******** A week later *******

Bella had been calling non stop and it was killing me to be so cold to her, but it was for the best. As much as it tore me apart inside, I had to admit, hurting her mentally was a far better option then hurting her psychically. I would never recover from that. I was just about to go for a run with the guys. They had found a scent of vamp on the out skirts of the treaty line we had made with the Cullens, but it wasn't one of them, it was someone new, but there was no trace, except for the faint stink of a leech. Just as I removed my shirt, tossing it onto the porch, Bella's truck pulled up. My heart began to pound as she ran up to me. The rain began pounding down around us as we stood a few feet apart staring at each other. She looked terrible. Larger black circles under her eyes, and was it possible that she lost more weight? She looked so weak, for frail.

"I thought you were sick. To sick to pick up the phone when I call. And now you're outside, half naked in a storm?" she shouted, a bit of anger in her tone. I felt the rage begin to show itself. I pushed it back, trying to keep my breathing in check.

"Go away." I said curtly. Fisting my hands, trying to channel all my anger to them, I would snap and few sapling when I got into to trees.

"What? Why..." she whispered. I could see the wetness in eyes even as we were pounded by rain.

"Go home, Bella. I can't hang out with you anymore."

She snapped back as if she had been slapped at it ripped my heart in two. To have to say these things to her, but I kept talked, afraid if she said anything I would lose my temper.

"I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore, or anything else. I'm not what I was before. I'm not good." I finished, taking my eyes away from her. I couldn't watch her reaction. I wouldn't.

"Who said you weren't good Jake, was it Sam? Screw him! You're the great Jacob don't listen to that ass-" I cut her off, taking a step closer to her. In the distance I hear a soft growl. I needed to relax.

"Don't blame Sam, he's going everything he can to help me. If you want to blame someone, why don't you point your finger at those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much?" I spat out violently, hoping the venom in my voice was enough to convince her, I didn't want to say the name. She flinched back a bit, recovering quickly, her eye brows creasing slightly.

"I..I don't know what you're talking about." she mumbled blinking frantically. I sighed, I guess I had to hurt her more, I cussed myself mentally, I was going to hell for this.

"The Cullens.." I paused as she took a step back stumbling, her arms going around her waist, squeezing tightly, I could hear her heart beat speeding up and her breathing came in hitches. "I saw that — I can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name. Just go home Bella, and don't come back, or you're gonna get hurt." I finished, taking one last look her beautifully broken face before turning my back to her, running for the trees. Once I was in the cover of the forest I let the heat flow through me, as I shifted into my second being.

_I'm sorry you had to do that Jake, but it was for the best_. Sam said in my head at the same time Embry said _sorry_.

I ignored them as I ran towards the treaty line to pick up where we had left off, leaving my love, my other life behind me.

After my run, I headed towards Bella's place. I realized Sam had never ordered me to stay away from Bella, just that I couldn't tell her what we were, but if she were to find out on her own, it would make things easier. I mean if she could deal with a disgusting bloodsucker, she could deal with me? I didn't hurt people I saved them. I protected them from the vile leeches. When I got to her house, I phased in the protection of the trees, pulling my shorts on. Charlie's cruiser wasn't there, which was good I didn't know how I would explain my appearnece. I walked around the side of the house to Bella's window, the light was on and I could hear sobs, heavy breathing and soft mumbling. Mostly consisting of, _"It's not as bad, it's not as bad. It's not the same_." Over and over again in between her bellows. I grabbed a few pebbles and tossed them at the window. Suddenly the crying stopped, and all I could hear was her heart, beating so fast I was afraid there was something severly wrong. A moment later and I heard her footsteps padding against the floor, then she was at her window, looking out into the woods until she found me. She pulled the window open, I could see her shiver from the cool air.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

"Stand back, I'm coming in." I said pulling myself up into the tree before she could protest. I landed in her room with ease, barely making a sound. She looked at me, holding her torso again, and I wondered why? Maybe my presence was hurting her.

"What are you doing here. I thought you couldn't be my friend anymore. I can't deal with this back and forth Jake, it's destroying me" she sighed heavily, sitting down on her bed. My heart ached, I knew I deserved it, I was a horrible person for hurting her this way.

"If I thought it was too… too risky, I wouldn't have come. But Bella, I made you a promise. I had no idea it would be so hard to keep, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try." I stopped, her eyes confused.

"You know I don't know what you mean Jake, spit it out already."

"Did you ever have a secret, one that wasn't yours to tell?" I asked, she shook her head (of course not saying a peep), touching her hand to her wrist. I followed her eyes, to see her starting at a faint silver scar. It took me a moment to realized what it was. A bite mark. Of course he had hurt her in more than one way. When she saw me looking she pulled her sleeve down crossing her arms across her chest. "Sometimes, loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do. Sometimes, it's not your secret to tell." she nodded her head, her eyes dazed. As she tried to understand what I was saying. I continued when she didn't say anything back.

"See what I mean about loyalty? It's the same for me, only worse. You can't imagine how tight I'm bound…The part that kills me is that you already know. I already told you everything!" I said a little angry. It felt like ages ago when we spoke of this.

"Jake you're not making any sense, help me out here." she said rubbing her eyes, well it was 3 in the morning. I was wide awake but I could tell she was spent.

"Do you remember the day we hung out at First Beach, the stor-" my voice cut off, stopping me mid sentence. It was like have a really bad stutter.

"The stories, about the Cold Ones." she nodded, her eyes brightening up a bit, as she thought she was getting close.

"I can see why you'd remember that. But do you remember anything else, about the legen-" I cut off again, a long breath leaving my mouth.

"Jake I'm really tired, just let me sleep on it ok?" she yawned loudly. I nodded and turned to face her again. She was hunched over, so hurt, so sad. I had to try. I ran to her scooping her into my my arms, pressing her soft skin to mine. I could feel her arms weakly wrapping around my waist and it felt right having her back in my arms. For the first time in a week I felt like me. I felt normal.

"Just please try and remember Bells, it would be so much easier if you knew...I won't lose you, Bella. Not for this." I murmured as I let my lips touch her forehead. She looked up at me and smiled, a hazy, half asleep smile, but a smile none the less.

"I'll try my best Jake, goodnight."

"You know where to find me." I said as I threw myself out the window. I heard he run to the opening, I looked behind me and laughed, of course she'd worry. I ran for the trees, once again letting the animal in me take over, as two legs turned to four.

**Well I hope you guys enjoyed this! I was half asleep when I wrote it so I apologize from any mistakes I missed when I edited it! Next chapter won't be up till Sunday night most likely when I back home! As always I love your reviews, they make me want to write more! So as always, review, follow and favorite! Until next time all! xo**


	9. Clean Slate

**Hey guys! It's been a few days yes I know! But here we are again! I got a message saying I skipped the scene with Laurent and Bella in the meadow, I didn't intentionally do that, it skipped my mind at first, and instead I just mentioned that the pack was after an unknown leech. I'm gonna toss it in this chapter just a bit, in a conversation between Bella and Jake, I'm sorry if that upset some people, but as I said before, I'm doing my own thing with the story, for the most part. I am going to use direct lines from the book/movie, but mostly it will be from my own head. I really hope you enjoy! :)**

**Chapter Songs: I Need Your Love - Ellie Goulding, Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd, Old Friend - Sea Wolf, Soul Love - David Bowie, Too Afraid To Love You - The Black Keys**

My nightly run went by in a blur. The only thing on my mind was Bella. Was she going to remember? Would she even talk to me if she figured out what I was? Of course Sam was furious with me, but I hadn't broken the rules so there was nothing he could do. Well that wasn't true, he could order me to stay away from Bella, but he would never. He knew from my thoughts how much I cared about her, and if I thought I was strong enough to keep her safe, he knew I would. After I had eaten and taken a long shower to relieve the tension in my muscles - I was still growing incredibly fast. Imagine your growth spurt in your young teen years and multiple that by about 100 and you'd get what I was going through - I held my head under the water, pouring on some shampoo. I used too much, I still was used to having this new hair cut, yes I hated it, yes I missed my long hair, but this was much easier when I phased. Once dressed I headed down to First Beach, collapsing myself on the same log Bella and I had sat on, what seemed like a lifetime ago. I heard her truck approaching not much later, I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I just stared out over the water, praying she wasn't going to say all the things I was terrified she would.

"So..." she started, sitting herself down beside me, her eyes following mine out into the ocean. I shifted my weight slightly, fisting my hands.

"So.." I mumbled, bringing my brows together over my eyes.

"You're a werewolf."

"Last time I checked yeah."

"Well, do you think you could, not be that. I mean those people never hurt anyone." she murmured, her voice shaking slightly, was she scared of me? And what did she mean 'those people' vampire weren't people. They were disgusting abominations.

"I can't change that, this is who I am, I was born this way. I'm so sorry that I can't be the right kind of monster for you, Bella. I guess I'm just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?" I spat out angrily, instantly regretting it as I saw pain flash across her features, her arms once again wrapping around herself.

"It's not what you are stupid, it's what you do You've killed people Jake." her voice was weaker now, I guessed it was because of my low blow. But what did she mean kill people, once again she was confusing me.

"Bella we've never killed anyone. We're here to protect the tribe and land remember?"

"Protect.. from what?" she asked, her eyes finally meeting mine.

"From the one thing that we were made for. _Vampires_." her eyes widened when I said the word out loud. Was she still seriously playing the innocent, '_I don't know what you're talking about card'_? Please.

"You can't kill them, they're so strong, so fast. They'll kill you. I can't lose you Jake I just can't, I need you." she spat out fast, her voice hitching. I moved closer to her, placing my hand on her leg until she looked at me.

"Well we took out that leech with the dreads easy enough, his redhead friend is next. We chased her all the way to Canada the last few nights, and she keeps coming back to Forks, but we don't know why." I frowned, I had gotten so close to grabbing her before she took off to the water. The male was easy, there was five of us. I saw recognition in Bella's eyes, maybe because she was there when we chased him away, was she upset, was he her friend?

"Vic...Victoria is here...in Forks...?" she stuttered, her mouth falling open with a loud pop.

"Hmph, so she does have a name. But yes, the very quick ginger leech. She's really starting to frustrate us. So many people have been killed by her, from here to BC. But she keeps coming back here. To us."

"I know why.. She's coming after me.." Bella sobbed, her eyes over flowing with tears. I took her into my arms, my mind blown. Of course all the monsters were after Bella, she seemed to be a magnet for back luck.

"I wish you would have told me that you were so afraid. You didn't need to be. What happened?" I whispered into her ear and I felt her head nodding slowly.

"James.. last year when I took off to go to Jacksonville, I was running from him, he was Victoria's mate, and well, Edward saved me from him, and Edward and his family killed James, and Victoria wants revenge. Mate for mate. I guess she doesn't know, it's not like that anymore. Well, not for Edward anyway.." she murmured, her voice going to pieces each time she said his name. She then slowly dragged her fingers across the raised silver scar on her wrist. When she saw me staring she looked down again, this time not covering it up. The cat was out the bag, well wolf more like it.

"Hmm, it's cold.." I whispered, as I lightly touched my fingers to her skin.

"Edward saved me twice that day. James bit me, and Edward sucked the venom out." her voice was so broken, falling apart with every word. But I had to admit to myself, as much as I hated that vile bloodsucker, for everything he'd done to Bella, I was glad he had been there that day, to save her from certain death.

"You really, honestly don't mind that I morph into a giant dog?" I laughed, lightening the mood. I hated the way her lips were quivering, on the edge of crying, how her slight shoulders were slumped into on themself, and how she had her hands wrapped around her torso. To my relief she smiled, some of the pain leaving her beautiful face.

"It doesn't matter what you are, you'll always be my Jake."

The words rung in my head, hearing her say, '_my Jake' _made my heart race in my chest, beating frantically against my rib cage, my blood was pumping fast and even I was starting to feel a little too warm. I couldn't help but let the smile over take my face as I stepped toward her, scooping her up into my arms and up off the ground. She hugged me back tightly and when I sat her down on her feet she stared up at me, her cheeks slightly flushed.

"What was it like? I mean, well, when you turned?" she asked softly, we began pacing up the beach, and it brought back a memory from a life time ago, I reached down and took her hand, this time she didn't pull away. She wove her fingers through mine, and I so badly wanted to lean down to her and touch her lips, taste them, weave my hands into her long waves of hair...

"When I… changed, it was the most… horrible, the most terrifying thing I've ever been through — worse than anything I could have imagined. I was afraid. Afraid I would hurt you, hurt my father, hurt myself even."

When I met her eyes they were soft, comforting. I knew she understood, and it took an enormous weight off my shoulders. Knowing she knew, and still accepted me for what I was now, made me euphoric, in pure bliss.

"I guess I didn't make that easy for you, just showing up at your house.." she mumbled, looking down at her feet as we walked. My eyes stung a bit as I remembered how badly I had hurt her, with only my words. She was so easily broken. As she had once told me, she wasn't even going to run right, and I now understood what she meant by that. It was like when you broke a bone. In time the wound would heal, but that bone would never be as strong again..

"I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But… I just got so upset that I was going to lose you… that you couldn't deal with what I am… But that's all changed now, I know you're here and I'm never going to let you go Bells, not for anything." her eyes met mine and I held her gaze, wanting to ask all the questions I had in my mind, say all the things I was feeling. To tell her I was in love with her and I wanted to spend the rest of my days making her as happy as she made me, but I knew now wasn't the time.

"What's the hardest part? I mean not everything has to be perfect?" she asked, as we came to stop by another fallen log. We sat on it, and she snuggled into my bare side. I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her tightly to me. I placed my hand to her upper thigh and she didn't seem to mind. I tried to ignore a certain part of me that was slightly awoken by the contact.

"The hardest part is feeling… out of control. Feeling like I can't be sure of myself — like maybe you shouldn't be around me, like maybe nobody should. Like I'm a monster who might hurt somebody. Who wants to be a nightmare, a monster? I mean, sometimes I'm afraid that I'm losing myself..." I rushed out as all the feelings came crashing down on me, making my body tremble slightly. I took in a deep breath and cleared my head, _not now. Calm down Jake._

"You're not a monster Jacob, and I won't let you lose yourself. I'm here and I'll remind you everyday how amazing and special and good you are. You are strong enough to control that side of you, I trust you, I know you'd never hurt me." she smiled, touching her cool fingers to my cheek. I turned to look at her and her deep chocolate eyes were sucking me in. I found myself looking at her lips. Full, pink and parted over her luminous teeth as she grinned at me. The way she was looking at me made me think she felt the same way. Maybe her heart beated like a drum whenever I touched her. Maybe her breaths came in short rasping bursts, and maybe, just maybe, her stomach was filled with the same butterflies. When I didn't speak, she did, and I was glad, I'm sure if I opened my mouth nothing but mushy love crap would pour out.

"What's the best part?"

"The best part is the speed. Nothing is more amazing then racing through the woods, trees and branches missing you by inches, the cool air on your face, it's something I can't really put into words. Someday maybe I'll take ya for a ride." I winked, thinking she would laugh. Instead she took her arms from me and wrapped them tightly around her stomach. My eyes widened as I looked her over, did I hurt her? Was she sick? When she saw my concern she shook her head, waving me off.

"Don't worry, you just reminded me of something."

"_Him_ right? I notice you do that whenever you talk about him or the rest of them." I knew it wouldn't have been a good idea to utter his name. It would save her a bit of grief.

"Yeah, it hurts. To think about all of them, it's like I'm falling to pieces, like theres a hole in my me." she whispered, her eyes darting out to the water. I sighed fisting my hands, suffocating the anger that was flowing through me at the thoughts of how bad he was still hurting her, even though he had been gone for months.

"We're a pretty messed-up pair, aren't we? Neither one of us can hold our shape together right." I joked, and luckily it worked, her faint smile appeared and for that I was glad, a wave of calm seeping into my system at just the sight of her happiness.

"Let's head to Sam's place. The wolfs out of the bag now, it's time you really met the rest of boys." I grinned, pulling her up to her feet. "Plus I really need to tell Sam all this vampy stuff, he'll be glad to know we uh figured out why the leech keeps coming back." Bella nodded as we headed back towards the Rez. In my mind there were thoughts that wouldn't stop nagging me. I needed to stop this creature, end it's life to ensure she could never hurt Bella or anyone else, and two, I needed to let Bella know how I felt about her. It didn't feel right to keep it bottled up inside, I felt I was going to burst at any moment. I held her hand as we walked up from the beach, trying to push those thoughts aside. I had to focus. I had a vampire to kill.

**Yay all is well between Bells and Jake. But for how long? I'm going to change things up a bit in the next few chapters. Add some drama, maybe a lemon? What do you guys think about that! I'm sorry this chapter was late, my computer died and I had to get a new one! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it, it was a tad short, but I promise the next few will be longer! As always please take the time to review, favorite and follow! It's what keeps me writting! xo**


	10. Keeping Busy

**Hey guys, back again! I've been really pushing myself to finish this chapter, things are going to veer waaaaay off from the book so don't get mad haha. I just want to see their relationship develop more, yes there will be Edward, and yes Jake will get his heart broken, but I want to explore what could have been, simply because I've always loved Jake and Bella together, but of course I'm a team Edward kinda girl :3, anyways, here's the next chapter, please enjoy!**

When we arrived at Sam and Emily's place, Bella was clung to my side. On the drive over she was muttering about how none of them would like her, that they'd be mad that she knew about our secret. I reassured her multiple times that wouldn't be the case, but being Bella she never found the silver lining to anything.

"Just do me one favour Bells, don't stare at Emily ok?" I asked, as sadness filled my chest.

"Why would I stare?" her eyes confused as her slight brows pushed across her forehead.

"Sam.. He uh, lost control, for one moment, and Emily was too close. It's why I can never lose control around you. I'll never hurt you." That officially ended our conversation. She continued to look my face over, searching for more answers, answers that weren't mine to give.

"So the wolf really is out of the bag eh Jake?" Jared laughed as we walked up the porch. Bella squeezed my hand and I squeezed back.

"I guess you could say that ya."

When we got inside, everyone was sitting around the kitchen table eating - as usual - their eyes flickered to the two of us, uninterested and back to their plates.

"So, you're the vampire girl?" Emily smirked, her arms folding across her chest as she got to her feet. I nudged Bella with my elbow, and she sighed.

"And you must be the wolf girl?" Bella questioned. I could see a fine line of sweat forming on her forehead, her heat beat was increasing, was she really this nervous?

"Yeah, I guess I am, you guys hungry?" Emily laughed as she motioned to the table of food. As much as I wanted to dive in, I waited for Bella. luckily she nodded and stepped forward, taking a small blueberry muffin in her hands. I on the other hand, filled my plate with three burgers, corn on the cob and chocolate homemade brownies. I had been running on empty, or what felt like empty to me.

"After eat, we need to take a run, re cover that last area she was in. They found two more people this morning. This has to stop." Sam said forcefully. We all felt the weight of his command. It sort of felt like something very heavy sitting on your chest, like you couldn't breathe for a moment, until it sunk it. We all sighed and nodded our heads, there was no saying no.

"Yeah, about that Sam, I have some new about the red haired leech." I muttered out around a sticky mouthful of brownie. Sam stood up, his eyes intense on mine, as he waited for me to continue.

"This vamp is here for one reason. And it's for Bella. Edward killed her mate last year, and wants revenge, an eye for an eye sorta deal. And that leech we took out in the meadow, was her friend he was checking in on Bella to see that she wasn't under the protection of the Cullens." I finished, regretting with every inch of me I had said_ his _name and theirs all in one sentence. I turned to face Bella and wasn't holding her stomach, her eyes weren't filled with tears, there was just s small trace of pain flashing across her soft features and her lips were quivering, not nearly as bad as she usually reacted, for a moment I thought it was because she was happy with me, but then my brain told me, _not gonna happen_, it was because of our audience.

"This is great news to us Jacob." Sam muttered, as he was clearly forming a plan in his head.

"Awesome, live bait!" Paul yelped, holding his hand up for high fives.

"Bella is not bait." I said sternly, a growl building up in my chest.

"It was a joke Jake, cool it. I wouldn't expect you to tie your girlfriend up to a tree and wait for the bloodsucker to show up." Paul laughed, shaking his head. I didn't ignore the fact that he had said _girlfriend. _Was that what she was? I wanted it more than anything, for her to be mine, to take care of her, keep her safe, love her and make her happy. But could she really feet the same way? I looked at her from the corner of my eye and she was smiling, her cheeks were spotted with pink as she nibbled on her muffin. I smiled too, maybe she did already and she was waiting for me to say something?

"No, not bait but she could help..." Embry murmured looking back and forth between Sam and I.

"No, absolutly not!" I yelled getting to my feet. I would not put Bella in harms way ever.

"Jake, I want to help, to do whatever I can! It's my fault all these people are dying." Bella said sternly, stopping her foot like a fiver year old. I had to admit, it was adorable as hell.

"I thought you could leave a trail of your scent, it's really strong, so maybe the vamp would follow it and bam, we grab her!" Embry finished, proud of himself, as usual. I let the thought dance around in my head. It actually wasn't too bad of an idea.

"Yes, we could flank you in wolf form, far enough away that we wouldn't damage the scent too much with ours, I mean our scents are all over the woods, but it would smell of Bella. And Jake, you should be with her in human form, I'm sure the leech knows you'd never leave her.." Sam trilaed off, his eyes busy. I nodded and sighed, it was a soild plan, she'd be safe.

"Sure sure, let's get it over with then, where are we going?" I asked, sighing again.

"A few miles from Bella's place, but leading away from her house."

Bella and I got into her truck as the others took off to the woods. Better to get this over and done with now, rather than wait till later, till it was too late. Our drive was silent, Bella was curled up into my side, my free arm around her waist. This was natural for us. She snuggled closer and sighed, it made my heart react.

"You're so perfectly warm Jake, you make me at ease. Even with all this crap going on in my so called life, you make everything brighter."

I tried to ignore the quickening pace of my pulse, the anxious feeling in my stomach. I had been right all along. I had been helping. I made her happy, I made her better. I was healing her wounds, I would set her free.

"I'm always going to be here for you Bells, no matter what. I'm never going to hurt you again." I squeezed her tighter to me, kissing the top of her head, marveling over her rich scent, it was driving me mad. Bringing the butterflies in my stomach back to life, causing my head to spin.

"I know Jake, and you don't know how good it feels to hear that.. knowing that.. it's actually true." she sighed, her voice breaking. It was easy to know that she was thinking about Edward, ugh, it made me sick to even say the name in my head. There was nothing more to say, at least I didn't want to ruin the moment, I just held her as she held me, both of us, at the moment in peace. It wasn't later that we arrived at the site. I could smell my brothers. They were close enough that they would be here in seconds if something were to go wrong, but far enough away that they wouldn't saturate Bella's trail with their own scent.

"What am I suppose to do?" Bella asked as she hopped down from the truck, instantly coming to my side.

"Just touch as much as you can, maybe leave a few strands of loose hair around. Trust me Bells it won't take much, your scent is strong.

"What it is with everyone I know and they way I smell. Do I smell good enough to eat to you too?" she sighed, shaking her head. I laughed and nodded.

"You have no idea.." I blurted out, my cheeks heating up at the same time hers did. I really hoped she took it in the way I meant it. She started walking forward, dropping her coat to the ground, she began shivering right away. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and warm her up but she needed to this without me for the moment. She touched her fingers and arms to everything, rubbing her body against trees, draping strands of hair across the branches and ferns, she ever spat a few times.

"Very good Bells, now come back here before you freeze!" I laughed, holding my arms out. She ran to me, tripping over her two left feet, I caught her in my arms, our faces inches apart. I could feel that pull again, tugging on me, wanting me closer. It was so strong it knocked the wind out of me, making me dizzy. Both of our breathing was deep and I could taste her sweet breath as it fanned across my face. The vein in her neck was beating with the rthym of her heart and I so badly wanted to taste the skin there. I lifted her closer to me, her eyes were dazed and full of an emotion that I pegged quickly as desire. I had never seen her look at me like this, chest panting, lips parted, tongue peaking out.. I dipped my head lower and our lips met, igniting a fire in my body, across my skin. I moved my mouth slowly across her and she kissed me back, her hands coming together behind my neck. I pulled her closer so her body was parallel to mine, I could feel every line of her beautiful body molding to mine as my back found the hood of the truck. I removed my lips to breath, god she was amazing and this kiss was a million times better than my brain had every imagined. She felt so right in my arms, against my body. Her lips fitted mine perfectly and the gravitational pull between us was making me weak in knees. I loved her, so damn much. She had to loved me back. I kissed her again, more roughly this time and she let out a small whimper, making my groin harden, I suppressed a groan of my own, not wanting to remove my lips from hers. When I slipped my tongue into her mouth, her teeth came clamping down on it, I felt the blood dripping out and Bella pushed me away, her cheeks flushed, her chest heaving up and down, through the pain I couldn't take my stare away from her breasts, how I wanted to cup them in my hands..

"Jake I'm I'm sorry, I didn't mean...I mean we shouldn't of, I mean I can't do this, I.. I.." she stammered, as she wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. I stepped forward, swallowing the blood that had pooled in my mouth. I knew the scent of my blood around here would drive the leech away, away from Bella's trail.

"I don't regret it Bells. You have no idea how badly I've wanted to kiss you.." I murmured, touching her flaming cheeks with my thumbs. She looked up at me, embarrassment, and lust in her eyes. It only made the tightness in my jeans more apparent.

"And I've wanted you to kiss me... but..." she stopped. Of course there was a but, there always had to be a but. I waited and she continued.

"I don't want to ruin this Jake, I need you.." her eyes now filled with tears, I kissed her entire face, her forehead, both her cheeks, she nose.

"You're never going to lose me Bells, I'm here till you send me away, and even then I'd still follow." I smiled, and thankfully she smiled too, wrapping her arms around me. I grabbed her coat as we headed back inside the truck, the taste of her lips still on mine. She once again pulled herself into my bare side, her fingers tracing the lines on my arm as I drove back to her place, it was incredibly distracting. Especially knowing that when we got back to her house, we'd be alone until Charlie got home from work. I couldn't help but thinking about throwing her down on her bed, letting my fingers roam over her, tasting every inch of her creamy, delicious skin...

As we pulled up in her driveway, I told myself that I was going to tell Bella everything, how I felt, what I wanted, how I was so right for her. But would she want the same things as me? I suddenly felt myself becoming nervous, I shook my head and sucked in a deep breath as we walked up the steps to her house and prepared myself for happiness or heartbreak.

**Well that's it for this chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'm not too happy with it, but I wanted to get it out. I've already started the next one, and I'm excited to writte it! I hope the small baby lemon was enjoyed, I always wanted them to kiss in New Moon, but the next chapter will be up soon, and as always please review, favorite and follow! xoxo**


	11. Feelings? Or not pt1

**Hey guys! Hope everyone is having a fantastic long weekend! I got lots of reviews and personal messages saying how much you love the story, and for that I'm happy! It keeps me writing! If you guys wouldn't mind checking out my other story Our Neverending Forever (Jake&Ness), it would mean the world to me! Anyways, here's the next chapter, enjoy! **

When we got into the house, Bella went right for the fridge, drinking milk straight from the carton. It was honestly really cute, but as if she remembered she wasn't alone, she turned to me, her cheeks red as she wiped the white moustache from her lip.

"Sorry... I'm parched." she laughed, downing another mouthful. I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, she was so relaxed around me, in fact we both were. We could be ourselves around each other, and that made time with her that much more enjoyable.

"Do you mind?" I asked as I grabbed an apple off the kitchen table.

"No of course not, help yourself to anything you'd like." My mind wandered, what I really wanted was standing right in front of me. Her moss colored blouse was open slightly, revealing her cream colored skin, the flush of her chest, the very tops of her ivory mounds. Her jeans were tight to her ankles, god how I wanted to peel them off and taste the skin of her thighs and higher.. Explore her entire beautiful, perfect, goddess of a body with my tongue and fingers. I couldn't ignore the hardness in my shorts as I stared at her, my mouth-watering.

"Jake?" Bella's voice suddenly snapped through my thoughts. I shook my head and blinked frantically.

"Uh sorry what?" I asked, meeting her lovely eyes.

"What did that apple do to you?" she laughed, shaking her head as she filled a bowl with potato chips, sitting them down on the table as she took a seat. I looked down at my head to see that I had crushed the apple to nothing but juice. Chunks of it's flesh were on the floor around my feet.

"Sorry I just was thinking about something.." I mumbled, collapsing my heavy body on chair as well. Her eyes pulled together as she looked me over, I tried my best to muster a smile.

"About Victoria right?" she sighed, as she stared down at the scare on her arm, tracing it with her finger.

"Yeah, I just need to make sure your safe." I lied, of course just about the leech, I would make her safe, but I didn't think I could tell her what I was really thinking about, wanting to make love to her all day and night, make her mine. _Woah Jake, calm yourself now_, I thought to myself as the hardness in my jeans only got more apparent, throbbing against my leg. She reached her hand across the table and touch it to mine, unclenching my hard fist with her soft little fingers. I grabbed her hand back, rubbing my thumb back and forth across the silver mark on her skin.

"I am safe. I'm with you." she smiled softly, her full lips parting over her teeth. Even though I wanted to lean in and taste her lips again, I restrained myself I had to come to a decision. Was I going to tell her how I felt? Did she already know that I loved her? We ended up on the couch curled up with each other as we watched Grease, Bella nibbled on the chips, her eyes fixated on the screen, I on the other hand couldn't keep myself from peaking at her from the corner of my eye. She deserved to know how I felt, and she deserved to know now.

**Bellas POV**

Was I crazy? I must be. I had kissed Jake with as much force and passion as I could muster in my condition. Wow condition, that's what I was calling it these days. Yes Jake made me feel better, he made me feel alive again. Yes the cracks in my chest had not fully healed but they felt filled when I was with him. It was so easy to be around him, to touch him, to kiss him even. Easy as breathing. But I couldn't help but feel guilty as I let him hold my hand, cuddle up to me. I knew I was going to break his heart eventually. I could never give myself fully to him, I would only end up hurting him and it tore me to pieces to be so selfish. To not want him to stop wanting me. I certainly knew I was going to hell for this but I honestly didn't care. I was happy with him, as happy I could ever be. I still dreamed about Edward every night, and they weren't always nightmares. It hurt to think of his name in my head, or even say it out loud, but after I had said it and heard it in the meadow that day with Laurent when I surely thought I was going to die, I hadn't been able to lock it up again. Of course having my hallucinations of him was surely my mind finally losing it, but I didn't care. When I saw him and heard him this way it didn't hurt. It was as if he was still here, protecting me, as if he still cared whether I lived or died.

Jake and I were pretty much curled around each other on the sofa, I was trying to pay attention to the movie but I could feel his eyes on me, feel his fingers tracing the length of my arm, sometimes stopped to touch the silvery raised scar on my wrist, as if he was trying to warm up the cold skin there. I tried to forget about the heated kiss we had shared. But it was easier said than done. It was so strangely different to kiss Jake, it was warm, my body went to flames the second our lips met. I had only ever kissed Edward and I thought the feeling of his ice cold mouth on mine was the best thing in the world, euphoric. But Jake's scorching lips felt just as good, even though I was panting, my skin a blaze, it still managed to raise bumps across me. How I truly wanted to knot my fingers in his silky black hair, maybe even run my fingers on his beautifully sculpted body I couldn't bring myself to. I felt guilty? Yeah I guess that was the word. Not only for knowing I was going to break him someday, but I felt like I was betraying Edward, which was ludicrous. He didn't care for me any longer, but nothing had changed for me. I was still just as in love with him as I ever would be, and I don't think any length of time apart would ever change that. But maybe I could put it on the back burner and give Jake what he wanted. It was obvious he loved me, he cared for me, he wanted me safe and protected, he wanted to keep me happy and he had promised to do so multiple times. But could I truly leave Edward behind and try to be happy like he had intended? He wanted me to have human life, with Jake I could be I suppose. But did I really want that? Did I want to grow old and gray? Could I love Jake the way he obviously loved me? I really didn't know, I didn't have an answer. Being with him felt so right sometimes. The pull between us was so strong like nothing I had felt before, but I didn't understand it, and though being with him felt right, it also felt so wrong. It was cruel of me to drag him along from my own selfish reasons but I was selfish, I had to him that and he had said he wouldn't stop trying, and I didn't want him to.

"Bells, can I ask you something?" Jake suddenly asked, his deep voice nearly trembling. I put my bowl of chips down and faced him. God he was beautiful, his deep russet skin was just brilliant with the darkness of his hair and eyes.

"Anything you know that Jacob." I smiled touching his hand lightly with mine. I felt a current run though me and I flinched.

"You know how much I care for you right?"

I sighed, here it comes, I knew this was going to happen. He was going to ruin everything. I would have to hurt him.

"Yes Jake, you're my best friend, I care for you too you know."

"But I mean, I really care for you, a lot.." he mumbled his deep eyes leaving mine for a moment. I sat there waiting until he looked up again. He grabbed my hand and placed it against his chest. I could feel his heat leaking into me as my palm laid flat against his care chest. I had touched him countless times like this, but at this moment it was different. I found my stomach in knots, my mouth dry.

"Do you feel that? The heat, the beats of my heart? It's there for you Bella, it belongs to you and I want you to have it.."

I felt my eyes widen, my own pulse picking up, I could hear it in my ears. I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out. Looking into his eyes I couldn't bring myself to say the things I was thinking. That I wasn't good for him, that I would destroy him, that he deserved better. But I couldn't I just sat there staring like an idiot, my mouth hanging open like I was catching flies as Charlie would say.

"It's okay if you don't love me back Bells, I'm never going to give up. Don't you feel the gravity between us? I can't even explain it.." he trailed off, his eyes becoming sad, his brows pulling down in the middle making his entire face soften, something I hadn't seen since he changed.

"It's not that Jake, I do love you but as a friend. I'm just not ready for anything more. But I don't want to lose you." I paused taking in a breath, trying to form saliva in my mouth, my voice was shaking. "And I do know what you mean about the pull. It's there, in my stomach, in my finger tips whenever we're together.. but I just can't.. I can't right now Jake I'm so sorry I'm a horrible, horrible person.." I sobbed suddenly, my eyes overflowing with tears. What was wrong with me? I was in Jacob's lap the next second, his big hands stroking my back, my hair, my face, he didn't say much, just murmured soft whispers that I shouldn't be sorry, that he would always be here for me and that he loved me. I had to admit, having someone tell you that they loved you after you had your heart ripped out and left bleeding on the ground, actually felt kind of good, it brought some warmth back into my blood, made my breaths come and go easier.

"You're tired Bells, you need to sleep, don't worry about a thing, I'm here and I always will be." I head him murmur as he carried me up to my bed. I nodded my head, my body suddenly feeling as if it weighed a million pounds, my eye lids closing without me trying. I felt his lips touch my forehead as he laid me down on my bed, covering me with the quilt. I was as sleep right away, my mind drifting, I dreamed of nothing in particular, just Jacob's face, his voice, his lips on mine, his strong but soft hands running over my body, telling me that he loved me. It hit me hard suddenly, making jolt up from my dead sleep, my hand going to my head my breathing increasing. I was in love with him, so in love, Edward's voice ringing in my ears.."_Just be happy Bella, be happy._.." his voice faded away and I wanted to follow it but I knew where I belonged. Maybe I had known this all along but I could never bring myself to admit, I had drilled it into my mind for months straight that the only way I could survive was with Edward, but maybe that wasn't entirely true. You could love more than one person at once? Maybe that's what I had to do.

**Jacob's POV**

After I laid Bella down, I touched my lips softly to the skin of her forehead, tucking her in as I left the room. How I so badly wanted to stay with her. Curl around her soft body as she drifted to sleep, but I restrained myself. I had poured my soul out to her, and it went a lot better then I thought it would have. She admitted that she loved me, not in the way I truly wanted, but it was better than nothing. To know she loved me at all, and felt the same strange pull made me full of bliss and happiness. It relieved a pain in my side and a weight off my shoulders. I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. Should I back off and let her feelings be realized in time? Or should I keep up with what I was doing now and help her along? I was torn but I knew I couldn't stop, I loved her and wanted to be with her in every way possible. I knew he was the reason she was holding back, I wasn't blind or stupid. She was holding on to something that wasn't coming back, and as horrible as it was to think, didn't want her anymore. I would never tell her to let him go, as my father always said to me one day when I asked why he hadn't re married after mom died, _you just never forget your first true love son, it's with you forever. _Bella was my first love, and I wanted her to be my last.

**Well guys that's it for part 1 of this chapter. I'm going to pick up the second part tonight and hopefully have it posted to you all tomorrow! I hope you liked seeing things from Bella's side, I really enjoy writing from her perspective. As always please be kind and leave a review, favorite or follow it makes me ever so happy! Have a lovely day all, until tomorrow! :) xo**


	12. Feelings? pt 2

**Hello hello! Back again for another update! I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter, I was actually pretty pleased with it! I loved writing from Bella's perspective, I found it very fun, anyways, here's another one. Don't worry Bella will jump off the cliff, I'm just adding a bit more between Jake and Bella before that happens. I always wanted them to develop further, and there might be a little lime, so I really hope you guys enjoy this! Let me know below! :)**

A few hours had passed and Bella was still fast asleep, I checked up on her multiple times. I knew she was safe with me, but I felt the constant need to make sure she was okay. The conversation we had was swirling around in my head. Had I done the right thing telling her? I certainly wanted to think so. I saw the flicker of sadness in her eyes when I said that I loved her, but there was something else there, something I couldn't put my finger on, indecision maybe? In any case, I wasn't going to give up, I knew deep down in my heart that we belonged together, why else would this pull be so strong, this connection we both felt every time we were together, and even when we were apart.

"No, no, don't leave, I love you... Edward no!" Bella shouted. I ran up the stairs to find her breathing heavily her hand holding her chest, tears falling from her wide eyes.

"Bells, you ok?" I asked, walking into her room. She nodded her head as her breathing slowly went back to normal.

"Yeah, just a dream, don't worry, I'm used to them." she muttered as she wiped the back of her hand against her swollen eyes. I sat on the edge on her bed, the entire mattress shifting with my weight.

"Maybe.. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, if it's made you this sad Bella.." I trailed off, cursing myself, Dad had always said I had a big mouth.

"Don't worry about it Jake, I'm glad you told me."

"Really? I mean I can see your hurting, and it hurts me too Bells.." I sighed, touching my hand to her cheek, streaked with tears.

"Jake I.. I really do care for you, there's just a lot that's wrong with me. I'm confused, I'm upset, I'm angry, not at you of course, at myself." She looked down at her hands, baling them into fists. I tilted her face back up till her eyes met mine again, and I waited for her to continue.

"I can't let go if him Jake, it's just not going to happen, I'm in love with him, and what frustrates me so damn much is I'm loving someone who doesn't love me back but it doesn't change anything. I've tried to let him go, and move on but I can't. But then there's you. Someone who's here, who's always been here, who loves me, who wants me no matter how shattered and broken I am, and all's I'm doing is hurting you." she stopped, her eyes leaving mine again as a soft sob broke in her chest. I reached for her and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Bells don't think like that. So long as you want me around I'm here." I murmured into her hair, no need to speak of him anymore. I wasn't that dense I knew she loved him and as much as that bothered me it was something I could never change.

"I do love you Jacob, I really really do. And I honestly wish it was enough to fix me, to make me whole again so I can give you what you deserve.." her voice was soft as she squeezed herself to me. I felt my heart explode in my chest at her words. I had known all along that she truly loved me the way I loved her, I just needed to hear her admit it. I pulled her back from my body and crushed my lips to hers. I didn't care if she pushed me away, or bit me again, I just needed to feel her, to taste her again. She surprised me by knotting her fingers into my hair, pulling it from the roots, and as much as it hurt, it felt a million times better. I laid back on the bed pulling her with me. The weight of her body on mine was driving me mad, every curve and hollow. Her scent was assaulting my mind and taste buds, she was so beautifully perfect, and maybe just maybe, she would finally be mine. I ran my hands down her sides, stopping at waist for a moment, feeling to soft curves there. I could feel myself getting hard and I wondered if she was paying enough attention to feel it as well. I then moved my hands to her backside, squeezing it with my hands, she moaned against my mouth and flicked her head back, grinding herself into me, I pushed back harder and we both moaned at the same time. Bella's hands were suddenly undoing her blouse, exposing her cream colored bra. I saw my reflection in her dazed, lust filled eyes, and our expressions matched. I touched my hands to the bare skin of her torso, marveling over how deliciously soft she was. She shivered under my touch as I ran my hands over her breasts, feeling her nipples harden beneath the thin fabric. I gave a light squeeze and her mouth came down hard on my neck as she bit into me. Fuck it felt good, I moaned and pulled her tighter. I felt her hands going for my belt at the same time I heard my pack's call from outside the window. We both froze, the room silent except for our ragged breathing and intense heartbeats.

"Jacob, now!" I heard Sam yell when I didn't reply. I ran my fingers down my face, of all the fucking times to decide that they needed me, it had to be now.

"I'm sorry Bells..." I groaned, taking one last look at her bare torso as she quickly closed the buttons, pulling herself off me.

"Don't worry about it, I'll still be here when you get back." she laughed, kissing my nose playfully. I hugged her to me, kissing her neck, her cheeks before throwing myself out the window, meeting my pack at the line of the trees.

"What's so damn important, that you needed to bother me?" I asked as we walked toward the forest. Paul and Jared were laughing, I guessed they all heard what we _were_ doing.

"The leech, she's been sniffing around the area we marked, now's the time to attack." he said sternly. I instantly was out of my pissy mood, and right into werewolf mode. This bitch needed to die, and I would gladly like to be the one to rip her apart. I nodded and ran ahead, letting the heat flow through my body until I was on all fours.

It wasn't hard to catch her disgusting scent, the sickly sweet icy aroma was everywhere.

_Stay close, we don't want her getting behind us. Once she realizes Bella isn't here she's going to head back to the house. _Sam ordered as we raced through the dense bush. We all quickened our pace, our noses, our eyes, our senses on red alert. No pun intended.

**Bella's POV**

The weight on my chest had been lightened. Yes I felt I had done the right thing telling Jacob the truth, but I still felt guilty. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward, what if he came back.. What if he still loved me and wanted me? And here to see me with Jacob. He wouldn't fight for something he knew wasn't suppose to be his in the first place, I knew him better then that. He would leave and I wouldn't even have known he was here. The dream, well nightmare I had was still buzzing around my head. Chasing Edward through the woods behind my house, begging him to come back, to take me with him. It had been months since I had this night terror, I thought I had left it behind when I found Jake. I guess the guilt and sadness I was feeling now is what triggered it. I could still taste Jake on my lips, feel his heated hands, leaving a trail of fire on my skin. I think that was the farthest I've ever gotten. Edward had always had such tight boundaries when It came to our physical relationship, or lack there of. But with Jake, it was, easy, effortless. I just let my body feel.

I managed to shower, wanting to forget everything for just a few moments of peace. Once dressed I made my way downstairs. Dad was out hunting with Harry, so that left me alone. Ugh I hated to even think the word. This was the first time I had been left alone in months. Jake was always with me. I understood he had responsibility's it just sucked. I quickly downed a bowl of cereal and flipped on the television. Every channel was plastered with reports of more missing people, hikers, mill workers, even children. I shuddered, I hoped they would catch her soon, or she would at least kill me and be done with it so nobody else suffered because of me. When I changed the channel, the commercial made me remember something I had been thinking about doing, now that adrenaline was my drug of choice, that and seeing and hearing Edward because of it. It showed a couple diving off a small cliff, into a lake below, some main attraction in Canada. I don't know if it was because I was so lonely, and feeling a little down, but I started to think of Edward. Maybe if I heard him, or saw him again, he would tell me what to do. To let go, move on? To keep holding onto the past, but to just be happy? I grabbed my keys and jacket and ran out to the truck, heading straight for La Push. I knew what I had to do to see him again.

**Jacob's POV**

In no time at all we were on her trail, damn she was fast, I pushed myself harder and harder, the rest of the pack trailing behind me.

_Cool it Jacob, we can't be split up_. Sams said to me, his tone annoyed.

_Fuck it, I'm not letting her get away again_! I shouted and the rest of the guys backed me up as they tried to match their speed to mine.

It was then that I heard her feel touching the ground, her shallow, pointless breaths, and the stench was overwhelming. I saw her. Her flaming red hair, chalky, pasty white skin. A growl erupted in my chest, echoing through the forest. She snapped her head back, her disgusting, bloody eyes meeting mine for a moment before she took off to the tree. We kept on her trail, once in a while jumping at the same time she did, always coming within inches of grabbing her foot.

_She's gonna jump off to the water, fall back Jacob we'll meet her at the beach_! Embry shouted, I ignored him and pushed myself faster, harder.

"Hmm someone determined I see." I heard her voice hiss, it was a throaty laugh almost. I snarled in response and was right on her tail, my teeth almost touching the hem of her coat. She laughed harder, it was like nails down a chalkboard as she threw herself off the cliff, her body pointing forward as she flew into the water. I caught myself on the edge and watched as she dissapeared into the black waters below.

_So close, so fucking close_! I growled, my body shaking.

_Don't worry Jake, we'll get her_. Jared thought at the same time I heard a scream. We followed the sound to see a body slam into the water across from us at the cliffs by La Push. _No No, it wasn't her, she isn't that stupid_! I thought to myself, though of course everyone heard. I phased back and pulled my shorts on, throwing myself off the cliff, hoping I wasn't too late.

**Well there it is! I hope it was enjoyed! I loved writing that little lemon between them, I've wanted to for so long! Also please let me know if you want me to do Eclipse from Jacob's POV as well, and as always, please review, follow and favorite! xo**


	13. AUTHORS NOTE!

**Hey guys!**

**I just wanted to get it out there I am going to finish this story, and my other one as well, I'm just going through a very tough time right now, and I have to put this on the back burner for awhile. I really appreciate everyone's support for what I have written. I promise more will be coming soon, I just need to sort some personal things out! Keep an ear to the ground everyone, I will have everything updated soon! It's also my birthday Sunday, yay me!**

**I hope everyone else is well, and things will pick up again!**

**And as always, if you have any suggestions for either of my stories feel free to PM, review, favorite and follow!**

**xo**


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